Wednesday Jokes: June 16th

The U.S. is reportedly assessing a leak at a Chinese nuclear power plant. The good news is that radioactivity kills coronavirus. [Story h/t to J.L!]

American middle distance runner Shelby Houlihan was disqualified from Olympic trials for a positive steroid test. Houlihan claims the steroids are from a pork burrito she ate. In other news, the U.S. track team dietician was fired. [Story h/t to T.C.!]

A survey from finance website Wallethub ranked New Jersey as the Number One U.S. state to live in, based on wages, education and the 4th-lowest crime rate in the country. “4th lowest? Get to work!” said New Jersey mob bosses.

Convicted sex offender Harvey Weinstein held his head in his hands when learning of his extradition to California from New York to face five sexual assault charges, and when learning that he’ll have to fly coach on Spirit Airlines.

Mackenzie Scott, ex-wife of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, gave another $2.7 billion of her fortune to 286 organizations. Trump children went 0-for-5 on their applications.

Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil cancelled his next scheduled solo appearance after his voice gave out. His band said if he can’t get his voice in shape before their 2022 Stadium Tour, they’ll use recorded vocal tracks and tour as Motley Vanotley.

Two people were hospitalized for injuries riding a log flume at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. The log reportedly “tipped up on an angle”, but then behaved normally once park workers removed dead bodies from the water.

Royal Caribbean delayed its first cruise since shutting down for the pandemic, after eight crew members tested positive for COVID-19, and the buffet crab legs tested positive for being the same ones that were there when they docked the ship.

SpaceX is cleared to reuse its rockets for national security missions. And it was cleared to hold a scrap metal sale of the ones that exploded to raise money for rocket fuel.

Peloton users are being warned that they could be watched by hackers accessing their bicycle’s video screens. In response, the company has postponed the planned Topless Tour de Peloton.

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