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Homeland Security raided the homes of music mogul Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs as part of an alleged sex trafficking investigation. No further details were given, but the Feds are calling this a Biggie.

Combs’ houses in Miami & Los Angeles were raided, so let it be known Diddy was doing his part bring both East Coast & West Coast rappers together.

The grandmother of two of the ‘Little Rascals’ robbers – aged 11 & 12 – who held up a Wells Fargo Bank in Houston said the teller gave them play money. Nonetheless, the two boys were apprehended at a playground as they ‘made it rain’ while young girls danced on the monkey bars.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce reportedly shut down a Los Angeles gym for a two-hour private workout while members waited and watched outside. As they left, women shouted at Taylor for autographs, and men shouted corrections to her lifting form.

Krispy Kreme is expanding its partnership with McDonald’s and will be sold at all locations by the end of 2026. Customers ordering a Quarter Pounder will be asked if they want the burger or a really big doughnut.

A court lowered Donald Trump’s bond requirement to appeal his financial fraud judgment from $454 million to $175 million, and gave him 10 days to come up with the money. Trump then invited friends from North Korea, Russia & China to Mar a Lago for a Classified Documents Garage Sale.

A container ship struck and collapsed the Francis Scott Key Bridge outside of Baltimore. Viral video showed the action between 1 and 2 a.m., and gave proof through the night that the bridge was not there.

Arnold Schwarzenegger got a pacemaker. His blood is so heavy, his heart needed help pumping all the iron.

The U.S. Justice Department sued Apple, saying its market share of iPhones is a practical monopoly. Apple plans to drop a countersuit, then pay a fortune to fix the cracks in it.

Former NFL star Eric Decker – husband of viral singer/celebrity Jessie James Decker – announced he’d had a vasectomy after fathering four children. Future babies are not expected to make this latest round of cuts.

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General Motors announced a $1 billion investment to produce new heavy-duty pickup trucks. In a related move, they’ll also invest $100 million to produce new Calvin-peeing-on-the-Ford-logo window stickers, as well as heavy duty truck nutz.

Users of weight-loss drug Ozempic are complaining of ‘Ozempic butt’ – loose, flabby skin in the buttocks from rapid decline in weight. They’re upset because of the appearance, and by the extra slappy-sounding farts.

A Chinese warship came within 150 yards of colliding with a U.S. destroyer in the strait of Taiwan. The captain of the U.S. ship was confused because the Chinese vessel was crusing for a long time with its turn signal on.

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ 29-year-old son Justin was arrested in California and charged with LDUI – L’il Diddy Under the Influence.

Apple’s rumored new VR headset, the Reality Pro, is rumored to cost $1,999. Buyers are eager to try it out at an Apple Store, where they can envision a reality where they have two grand to blow on a VR headset.

Taylor Swift swallowed a bug during her Chicago performance. Parents of the bug are asking for their $1,000 back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger explained how he told wife Maria Shriver about the son he fathered with their housekeeper Mildred Baena. Schwarzenegger said he went ‘Commando‘: “remember when I told you I never got Mildred pregnant?…I lied..”

Reigning NCAA golf champion Rose Zhang won the LPGA Mizuho Americas Open – becoming the first woman to win her LPGA Tour debut since 1951, when somebody else you’ve never heard of did it.

Tom Brady took his kids to Disney World where he was photographed riding the Tower of Terror – which is also his nickname for ex-wife Gisele when she was mad at him for continuing to play football.

Competitive eater James Webb broke a world record on National Donut Day, eating 59.5 donuts in eight minutes. He eclipsed the previous record shared by eight different patrolmen in the Philadelphia Police Department.

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New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft filed a motion to prevent the release of surveillance video of him engaged in sex acts in a Florida massage parlor. Meanwhile, after further review, the NFL replay official confirmed holding below the waist.

The two Boeing 737 MAX 8 jets operated by Lion Air and Ethiopian Airlines, each involved in fatal crashes, were sold without optional safety features that let pilots see the plane was in danger. The feature is called a “windshield”.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade both called for President Trump to stop his insults of deceased Senator John McCain. Trump said he’s only counterpunching insults he hears from McCain during Executive Time.

Lori Loughlin’s daughter, Olivia Jade Giannulli, reportedly didn’t fill out her own college applications. Forensics experts reached the conclusion when verifying her signatures on the applications, where none of the ‘i’s were dotted with hearts or smiley faces.

A 10-foot long alligator was spotted swimming in water behind a woman’s home in Cape Coral, Florida. April is alligator ‘courtship’ season, where they search for partners prior to the May mating season. The woman said she’d like to get to know the gator better before making that commitment.

A new study finds strawberries, spinach and kale contain the highest levels of pesticide residue. Consumers intend to keep eating strawberries, and use the study as a lifelong rationale for not eating the other two.

Costco shoppers in California are posting photos of giant, 2-to-7 pound lobster claws being sold there. Back in the ocean, giant clawless lobsters are getting their tails kicked.

Excessively hot tea is being linked to esophageal cancer. A study followed 50,000 tea drinkers in a remote province of Iran and found nearly 400 had developed cancer. Critics point out that Iranian tea is made by steeping tobacco leaves in boiling puddle water.

Olive Garden posted a solid jump in sales. They attribute the growth to emphasizing classic Italian dishes, which they’ve always avoided making.

The United Nations released their annual ranking of 156 countries based on levels of ‘happiness’. The United States’ happiness ranking fell for the third straight year, and now sits at #19.  “Take that!” said 18th ranked Syria.