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A woman is banned from an Antwerp, Belgium zoo because her “affair” with Chita, a 38-year-old male chimpanzee, is hindering his acceptance by the other chimps. That, and Chita’s wife is still pretty pissed off.

A Stockton, California man is accused of shoplifting, then running over an employee’s foot with his wheelchair. He remains at large, despite taking five minutes to load into the getaway van after the theft.

Vice President Kamala Harris visited Vietnam to announce a donation of 1 million doses of the COVID-19 vaccine. However, China one-upped her, promising 2 million doses, which are reportedly better because they’re vaccines derived from the same coronavirus they made in a lab.

An Afghan woman gave birth to a baby during her evacuation flight from Kabul. She received requests from 10 other passengers to please shut her kid up.

Estes model rocket company is selling a $69.99 replica of the Blue Origin ship that Jeff Bezos rode into space, if you don’t mind having it appear as though your kid is launching a dildo into the air from your backyard.

New York City’s Police Department will issue new “easier to fire” handguns to rookie recruits, saying the reduced pressure required on the trigger will improve the accuracy of bullets shot at unarmed civilians.

A new study from Montana State University identifies the areas of the U.S. most suitable for the invasive Asian Giant Hornet. They determined the Asian hornets are most likely to settle in areas within a 20-minute delivery radius for decent cashew shrimp.

TikTok has disabled the ability to search “milk crate challenge” and removed some of the videos. TikTok’s spokesman said they’re deleting some of the videos, and urging influencers to stick with eating Tide Pods instead.

Scientists conducted tests revealing that Stonehenge is made from a nearly indestructible ancient material — scones.

Actress Letitia Wright was hospitalized following an on-set accident filming her role as Shuri in the Marvel sequel Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Wright was not wearing her Vibranium suit at the time.

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Disney will donate $1 million from the sale of character-themed facemasks during the pandemic, and will keep the other $100 million.

North American bee populations are threatened by Asian Giant ‘Murder’ Hornets that invade hives and decapitate bees – not to be confused with hornets that decapitate bees by accident, known as Manslaughter Hornets.

United, JetBlue & Delta will require all passengers to wear masks, but will remove people who try prying theirs out of the compartment over their seat.

Former LPGA golfer Paige Spiranac says her 34DD breasts are real, and that they help her golf game by keeping her arms in touch with her body during her swing. Male golfers seeking to improve their game are inquiring about implants.

‘Clueless’ actress Stacey Dash, who recently announced she’ll divorce her fourth husband, is selling videos for $50 on Cameo. For $60, you can get engaged to her.

Mark Cuban said if he had to start a ‘side hustle’ to make extra money, he’d code commands for digital assistants like Alexa, Siri & Google. Then he remembered he has several billion reasons not to.

Experts say the checkout area is the most dangerous place in grocery stores during the coronavirus pandemic – ending the 70-year reign at the top for the public restrooms.

Tiger Woods said running over 30 miles a week when he was younger “pretty much destroyed” his body. Porn stars and bar hostesses say their younger bodies were pretty much destroyed by Tiger Woods.

Pennsylvania is no longer the top-producing state for craft beer, ceding the honor to California. However, thanks to Coors Light, Colorado remains the top-producing state for crap beer.

A mom shares video where she tells her kids she’s buying them drinks at a Starbucks drive-thru, but orders them water and mixes it with Kool-Aid. It worked once, but the kids knew they were being tricked when their names weren’t misspelled on the cup.