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A former McDonald’s corporate chef shared a video with a recipe for Big Mac ‘secret sauce’ – mayonnaise, pickle relish, paprika, mustard, onion powder, granulated garlic & white pepper. But to get it just right you need a teenager to spit in it.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is rumored to be cast as the next James Bond – the first Jewish actor to portray ‘007’. Producers are considering a remake of Goldfinger, and are auditioning actresses to portray Pussy Galorowitz.

Brain-chip implant company Neuralink revealed its first human trial patient, Noland Arbaugh, a quadraplegic. Arbaugh demonstrated on his laptop that he could move virtual chess pieces with his mind – but didn’t realize he was playing Candy Land.

Dunkin’ is honoring short, confident men with a limited-time small iced coffee drink called ‘The Short King’ – while continuing to insult those same men by selling Munchkins.

New York Attorney General Letitia James has taken initial steps to seize Donald Trump’s golf course in the event he can’t come up with $454 million in cash. James was seen wearing a hardhat & warming up a backhoe to move Ivana’s body.

Wildlife authorities in Ontario rescued a skunk with its head stuck in a peanut butter jar. By “wildlife authorities” they meant a dog who really wanted the peanut butter.

A two-headed rat snake at a Missouri wildlife refuge will undergo surgery after workers said the snake sneezing blood was a ‘red flag’ – but apparently the two heads are no big deal.

A Missouri zoo is asking for the public’s help naming a new baby kangaroo. Meanwhile, a Mississippi zoo is also asking for help naming a baby kangaroo, because Mississippians keep wanting to name it “dinner”.

DoorDash is now piloting drone deliveries in the U.S. So far multiple customers have suffered serious injuries getting their Chinese food off the roof.

Facebook has resurrected the ‘Poke’….to the delight of boomers who haven’t been poked in forever.

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Northeastern U.S. states are reporting a norovirus ‘stomach bug’ infection rate of 15% of the total population. It’s so bad, people are boarding Carnival Cruises to try and escape it.

A Florida man had 150 live bugs removed from his nostrils and sinuses, that he says he didn’t know were there. Although when he blew his nose the handkerchief would walk away when he set it down.

A Pennsylavnia man was convicted of his 12th DUI. He’s been given a star on the Field Sobriety Test Straight Line Walk Of Fame.

Makers of home pregnancy tests are introducing new menopause tests. They’re really just thermometers to see how high the hot flashes are.

Elon Musk said the human patient with a Neuralink brain implant can control a computer mouse with his mind. The patient used it to type the message “get.. this ..f*cking.. thing… out… of… my… brain…”

AT&T customers experienced a massive cell phone outage early this morning – forcing many of them to visit their parents & grandparents for the first time in years to borrow their land line.

Google updated the sign-in page for user accounts, making it easier across a variety of devices to log on and give them information to sell.

A new study finds 1 in 4 college students make less than their counterparts with only a high school degree. They didn’t get more specific, only to say the college rhymes with Muniversity of Schmoenix.

American casinos won $66.5 billion in 2023, the best year ever. “We’re due!” said compulsive gamblers.

A woman claims her family suffered food poisoning after eating a cake that her 8-year-old daughter made in an Easy Bake Oven. The family recovered, but the child is devastated by her parents’ Yelp! reviews.