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Samantha Ramsdell of Connecticut – who shares videos stuffing whole sandwiches in her mouth – is now recognized by the Guinness Book of Records as the Woman with World’s Largest Mouth. Guinesss named 2 billion other women runners-up.

Molson Coors is discontinuing 11 budget beer brands, including Keystone Ice, Miller High Life Light and others. They still plan to make the beers, but label them as Sweatsock-Flavored Hard Seltzer.

GOP Senator Lindsey Graham, who is vaccinated against COVID-19, announced he has a ‘breakthrough infection’ of the virus. This surprised observers who assumed Graham’s next breakthrough infection would be bathhouse gonorrhea.

The CDC added 16 destinations to a list of places with “very high” likelihood of COVID-19 transmission, including Greece, Ireland, and Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crossfit gym.

A woman on a Cape Cod, Massachusetts beach fought off an approaching coyote with a stick before she was rescured by a fisherman. The woman thanked the manufacturers of ACME sticks, whose products reliably foil coyote attacks.

A couple bought a Skippack, Pennsylvania farmhouse and found a colony of 450,000 bees living in the walls that had been there for an estimated 35 years. The bees were moved to a farm, where they’re glad they don’t have to pay property taxes anymore.

Rapper DaBaby apologized for inflammatory anti-gay remarks he made from the stage at the Rolling Loud music festival. He says it’s about time he started acting like DaGrownup.

Wrestling legend Ric Flair has been released from his contract by promoter Vince McMahon’s WWE. Flair now requires a chair lift to get to the top of the turnbuckle.

Jeff Bezos is no longer the World’s Richest Person after his net worth dropped $13.5 billion due to an Amazon share price drop amidst disappointing earnings. Bezos, for now, yields the title to Some Other Arrogant Asshole.

New York City restaurants will require proof of vaccination before diners will be seated indoors after waiting an hour to sit next to the restrooms.

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SpaceX rockets are equipped with the same touchscreen software found on Android phones – only it’s called Mario Space Kart.

Nintendo revealed an additional 160,000 Nintendo ID accounts – used for login and payment – were stolen in April. They found out after spotting Bowser wearing a lot of gold chains.

Cities are using public sewer systems to gauge levels of COVID-19 infection. Their measurements are useful to track rises and falls in virus, as well as corn consumption.

The New York Times surveyed epidemiologists and found most won’t attend a live sporting event this year – leading over a dozen Major League Baseball teams to cancel their ever-popular Epidemiology Day.

Race car driver Bubba Wallace wants confederate flags banned from all NASCAR events. Wallace said “no one should feel uncomfortable” at races. “Or sober” said every NASCAR sponsor.

Dr. Anthony Fauci said the coronavirus is his “worst nightmare”. Then he paused and said “second-worst nightmare”.

Facebook is sponsoring a lounge at the Republican National Convention. ‘Going’ – replied thousands of Russians.

Paramount Network cancelled reality tv show Cops. It will be replaced by Protesters.

Cardi B used Instagram to show followers her natural hair – possibly for the first time since her stripper days.

The biggest-growth categories of alcohol sales during the pandemic lockdown were budget-priced beer and hard seltzer – also known as The His & Hers Domestic Dysfunction Kit.