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Twitter released its redesigned site for desktop computers. You can now choose traditional blue & white or other color schemes to read everything that pisses you off.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics released a map showing the job with the highest-paying average annual salary in each state. Congratulations to West Virginia heroin dealers.

David Liddle was arrested near Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island home carrying a baseball bat, lock picks, a crowbar and other tools. He told police he knew her and was planning a visit. Swift later asked cops if they’d seen a guy dropping off her baseball bat and crowbar.

President Trump is seeking to reduce the number of Americans who qualify for food stamps, claiming millionaires are obtaining and abusing them, and that you can’t use them on Big Macs, anyway.

GNC is closing 900 stores, so start finding a website for all that protein you’ll need to stay jacked, bra’.

It was revealed that Neil Armstrong’s family was paid $6 million by the hospital performing his 2012 heart surgery to settle medical malpractice claims. According to his children, it was one small step for justice, one giant leap to the Porsche dealership.

Three adults were charged for their roles in the violent fistfight at Disneyland’s Toontown captured on video this month. They are set to appear in Toontown Family Court.

A Georgia woman who claimed she got cold french fries at McDonald’s took them back to the counter, then fired a handgun in to the kitchen floor. She received a refund on the fries but was still charged for a salt.

Lifetime is turning the Operation Varsity Blues college admissions scandal into a made-for-cable movie. Producers are worried that if they cast Candace Cameron Buré as Lori Loughlin, the entire cable tv system will collapse in on itself like a black hole.

‘El Chapo’ Guzman told a judge prior to his sentencing to life plus 30 years that harsh prison conditions are causing him harm. The judge then ordered him to Supermax for the life sentence, and said he’d consider somewhere nicer for the ‘plus 30 years’ part.

 

 

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President Trump said he takes North Korean leader Kim Jong Un ‘at his word’ when denying involvement in the death of American prisoner Otto Warmbier. Democrats found it unbelievable that Trump finds Un believable.

Trump took to Twitter to demand Congress obtain a manuscript of Michael Cohen’s purported tell-all book — then give him the gist of it with lots of pictures so he can say he read it.

In the wake of sexual misconduct allegations, singer Ryan Adams scheduled tour of the U.K. & Ireland has been cancelled, although the backstage meet-and-greets are still on.

Jason Witten will leave the Monday Night Football announcer booth and return to play tight end for the Dallas Cowboys next season – a move that surprised many because Tony Romo didn’t call it right before it happened.

Governor of Washington state Jay Inslee announced his plan to seek the Democratic nomination for President. Inslee will run on a platform about climate change – and is already making a difference, given the cool reception to his candidacy.

Amazon is giving Prime members the option to choose a single day of the week to have their packages delivered. Amazon says this lets them conserve resources, reduce their carbon footprint, and help porch pirates plan their schedules.

Nintendo’s job recruitment website says its employees in Japan stay with the company an average of 13.5 years and make $80,000 annually – even more if they avoid turtles and find bonus levels.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics posted data showing the highest-paying job in every state. Doctors & surgeons topped the rankings in most states, with the exception of the Deep South, where dentists typically are broke and bored from lack of patients.

The company that owns Old Navy and Gap are splitting them up. Gap will be combined with Banana Republic in a new company dubbed ‘Mom & Dad’ and Old Navy will operate as an independent company called ‘God, just leave me alone.’

Sexual abuse claims against Catholic priests and their church dioceses in New York State threaten to send them into bankruptcy. So keep an eye out for great deals on stained glass windows and reclaimed hardwood benches.