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Viral video shows a male football cheerleader for the University of Iowa flipping out of his pants doing a handspring. Not captured on video that evening, several female Iowa cheerleaders flipping out of their pants at fraternity parties.

Las Vegas police charged a man in the 1996 murder of Tupac Shakur. This is a biggie.

Donald Trump’s business fraud trial begins in New York. If found guilty, his company will no longer be able to do business in the state, and he’ll have to pay $250 million in fines once they’re donated to him by dopes.

The Nobel Prize for Medicine was awarded to two scientists whose mRNA research resulted in COVID vaccines. Honorable Mention was given to a guy who made ventilators out of old Shop Vacs.

Governor Gavin Newsom appointed Laphonza Butler, a black lesbian who lives in Maryland, to take the late Dianne Feinstein’s Senate seat for California. Butler was chosen because she’s black, an advocate for LGBTQ & abortion rights, and pretty experienced with long-distance relationships.

Following charges of rape & sexual assault, French actor Gerard Depardieu penned an open letter, saying he didn’t Depardieu it.

Taylor Swift was joined by Hugh Jackman, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Sophie Turner & others at MetLife Stadium for the Chiefs/Jets Sunday Night game. Meanwhile in the 700 level, a different woman named Taylor was joined by four friends who woke her up following the game after she blacked out in the 2nd quarter.

A man deliberately crashed his car into the Warren County, Pennsylvania police department building. Warren County cops apprehended him after a 30-minute pursuit.

Cindy Crawford alleges that Oprah Winfrey made her feel like a piece of meat when appearing on her talk show. Winfrey feels Crawford has no idea how much she likes pieces of meat.

Travis Kelce’s ex, life coach Maya Benberry, said she questions the “genuineness” of his new romance with Taylor Swift. Benberry was recently fired as life coach.

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The rate of c-section births in the U.S. tripled over the last three decades. Doctors blame obesity, saying that obese birth mothers give them more delivery complications, like finding the baby.

A man acting as ‘Jay-Z’ in the Philadelphia Mummers Parade had come under fire for wearing blackface. His Mummers club then clarified that the man was actually black, at which point he came under fire for actually being in the Mummers Parade.

President Trump shot down a compromise budget proposal that includes $2.5 billion in border security funding, saying he needs $5.6 billion. He then shut himself in his room and refused to come out, but lawmakers weren’t worried, since that’s how he spends all of his mornings anyway.

A drunk Wisconsin man mistakenly walked in to the home of a female neighbor early Tuesday and passed out on a bed next to the woman’s 150-pound mastiff. The woman is now jealous of the dog since it was the only one in the house to sleep with a guy on New Year’s.

Presley Gerber, model/son of supermodel Cindy Crawford and husband Randy Gerber, was arrested for DUI in Beverly Hills.  Police said Gerber smelled of alcohol, and fell off the runway during his field-sobriety catwalk.

A Philadelphia man climbed atop a monument of George Washington on New Year’s Day, then fell off and impaled himself on the antlers of an elk statue at its base. The man was eventually hospitalized, after failing to convince EMTs to wait until the antlers fall off in spring.

Chipotle is introducing a new menu item, ‘Lifestyle Bowls’. The bowls help customers match ingredients with their different lifestyles, like Paleo, Keto, Whole 30, or Gay.

The Pennsylvania State Police reported that drunk driving was up on New Year’s Eve, but crashes were down. The State Police credit their educational efforts in teaching people how to drive better while drunk.

Netflix issued a warning about the viral Bird Box Challenge – recording yourself doing everyday tasks while blindfolded. They then issued a follow-up warning, clarifying that blind people are free to do whatever they want.

McDonald’s is introducing new items in order to increase early morning revenue. These include Triple Stack McMuffins, Donut Sticks, and paid tickets to use the restroom while it’s still clean.

China landed a lunar rover on the far side of the moon. Four other, faster, lunar rovers are lined up behind it honking their horns trying to pass it.