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Hackers have exploited Google Chromecast streaming devices, using the hack to put anything they want on a Chromecast-equipped screen. “See, babe, I TOLD you that’s how the gay porn got there!” said a man who wasn’t a hacking victim, to his wife.

Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as Speaker of the House while surrounded by her own grandchildren and dozens of other children – also known as U.S. Representatives.

The Labor Department released a robust jobs report; the U.S. economy added a whopping 312,000 jobs in December, well above what economists expected to build toys for Santa.

Herb Kelleher, founder of Southwest Airlines, passed away at age 87. His body will be transported to his hometown, free of checked baggage fees.

Vicente Sambada Niebla, son of Sinaloa drug cartel leader Ismail Zambada Garcia, testified at the trial of Juan ‘El Chapo’ Guzman for five hours about how the cartel operated. Stunned by the betrayal, his father’s lawyer asked Vicente if he’d lost his head, to which he replied “not yet”.

Despite the government shutdown, the IRS stated that U.S. citizens will still be required to file their fraudulent tax returns.

Researchers trying to determine if it’s worthwhile to screen newborns for hundreds of genetic mutations have not yet determined if the screening is useful, since the mutations they identified still can’t predict whether babies will cry on airplanes or have a meltdown in a grocery store.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West announced they’re planning to have a fourth child, delivered via surrogate birth mother, and then via courier, since they’re both pretty busy on the due date.

A Florida man was arrested and charged with attempted murder for shooting his wife and her parents after seeing a video of the wife cheating with his best friend. The parents regretted their choice for Family Movie Night.

Anna & Lucy DeCinque, Australian women who call themselves “the world’s most identical twins”, say they plan to both get pregnant by their shared boyfriend and, if the law allows, marry him. The boyfriend, Ben Byrne, endorses the plan, saying it’s a great way to get laid twice without having to figure out which sister is which.

 

 

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Some parents in Huntington Woods, Michigan want the public library to end ‘Drag Queen Story Hour’ – where drag queens read to children. However, the drag queens are a huge draw and children love it, though some complained a reading of The Night Before Christmas took 2 hours including costume changes.

President Donald Trump’s charitable foundation is being dissolved amidst allegations of ‘persistently illegal conduct’ — leaving many wondering who will put gifts under the tree for Playmates and porn stars.

Adam Bros., the farm linked to E. coli in romaine lettuce, is now recalling red & green leaf lettuce and cauliflower out of what they say is “an abundance of caution”. Throughout the country, children are hoping they also extend their caution to broccoli and asparagus.

Actor Dax Shepard defended telling his child that there is no Santa. Shepard said he was tired of lying, adding that he also told his daughter that the CHiPs movie sucked.

A Kansas mom was shocked to find metal shavings in her daughter’s gummy vitamins from Zarbee’s Naturals.  Said a Zarbee’s spokesman “so do you want your kid to get iron or don’t you?”

Multiple Tinder employees who sued Tinder’s parent company, Match Group, for $2 billion were fired this week. The employees say they were subjected to intimidation and retaliation, Match Group human resources claimed that they simply swiped left on their performance reviews.

At the trial of drug kingpin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman, a Chicago-area cocaine distributor described the organization to a jury, calling it “a highly-matrixed team where motivated self-starters are fully empowered to contribute and grow in a challenging, fast-paced environment!”

Utah implemented the lowest blood-alcohol threshold for DUI in the nation, at .05.  Residents are advised not only to avoid drinking & driving, but to avoid tongue-kissing drunk women & men in the bar before getting behind the wheel.

A 23-year-old Florida man was arrested by Port St. Lucie police for attempting to pay for his order at a McDonald’s drive-thru with pot.  The drive-thru worker alerted police, saying the man must have been high, since he offered a dime bag for a $6 value meal.

A Swedish music festival, Statement Festival, that banned cisgender men, was found guilty of discrimination. A Swedish court found that the festival, which only allowed cisgender women, transgender and non-binary people, discriminated against men born with penises who wanted to feel hated while listening to terrible music.

 

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The FDA approved Dsuvia, a new opioid tablet 10 times stronger than fentanyl and 1,000 times stronger than morphine.  To curb potential abuse, it will only be used in extreme cases such as emergency rooms, or to take prior to joining your extended family for Thanksgiving dinner.

An 11-year-old in a Phoenix suburb, told by his live-in grandmother to clean his room, shot her, then shot himself. Officials said that the room is now an even bigger mess.

A university theater student in Pennsylvania was arrested for secretly using his iPhone to record women he knew using the bathroom.  The women became suspicious when they emerged from the bathroom and he congratulated them on passing their audition.

A Scottish fisherman was rescued from a cliff after he was confronted and cornered by an aggressive colony of about 50 gray seals protecting their young. He was lowered into a boat by the Coast Guard, who responded after a Scottish SEAL team took the animals’ side.

Hutch, a 13-year-old Belgian Malinois police dog in Boynton Beach, Florida – credited with taking part in over 200 arrests – has died .. just one week short of finally retiring and getting his pension.

An off-duty NYPD officer was arrested in Brooklyn and charged with DUI after driving the wrong way down a one-way street and striking a parked car. He was taken into custody when on-duty NYPD officers saw the drunk cop giving himself a field sobriety test.

Susan Westwood, 51, of North Carolina, was shown on viral video harassing two black women waiting for AAA vehicle assistance. Westwood insulted them and bragged about being white, hot, and making $125,000 working for Spectrum Cable. She was fired from Spectrum, where she was a supervisor harassing people who were late paying their bill.

Beginning today, Amazon will offer free shipping to all its customers for items arriving in time for Christmas. Amazon’s warehouse workers and delivery drivers responded to the increased workload by increasing the size of bottles they urinate in from 16-ounce to two-liter.

Jury selection began Monday in the drug trafficking trial of legendary drug lord Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman. The NYPD closed the Brooklyn Bridge to transport El Chapo from a Manhattan prison to the Brooklyn trial. El Chapo said it was unnecessary, since his employees had already built a special tunnel.

  • So far, prosecution attorneys have sent home several dozen prospective jurors who greeted El Chapo by name as they entered the courtroom.

Kim Kardashian said that husband Kanye West is harassing her to expand their family to seven children. Kardashian told a friend she doesn’t know if her body could handle the stress of watching so many surrogates have her kids.