An 88-year-old man arrived at a French hospital with a World War I artillery shell lodged in his rectum, forcing the facility to evacuate. The shell was removed by doctors, who were happy detonation was avoided by the lack of Mexican food in France.

U.S. law enforcement officers seized enough fentanyl to kill every American in 2022, and enough cash for Border Patrol officers to give themselves nice Christmas bonuses.

United States Postal Service trucks will transition from gas to electric by 2026, or whenever your 2022 Christmas deliveries arrive, whichever is later.

Allegiant Airlines failed to load any checked baggage on a flight from Bellingham, Washington to Oakland, California. Allegiant announced their baggage handlers will no longer be trained at Philadelphia International Airport.

A lawyer was kicked out of the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular because her law firm is suing the owner of Radio City. She’s now also suing for personal injury after being kicked by every Rockette on her way out.

New head of DC Comics movies James Gunn, having fired Henry Cavill as Superman, said no decision has been made regarding Gal Gadot’s status as Wonder Woman. Meanwhile, the Super Friends added Gunn to their list of Super Frenemies.

A massive winter storm across the U.S. promises to make this the coldest Christmas in decades, and colder still for every guy who buys their wife or girlfriend fitness equipment.

Outgoing Arizona Governor Doug Ducey will remove a border wall he commissioned, made out of stacked shipping containers. No word on plans for the 2,000 migrants living in the shipping containers.

The NHL’s Buffalo Sabres postponed Friday’s home game against the Tampa Bay Lightning due to what meteorologists are calling a “once in a generation” winter storm – or, what Buffalo residents are calling a “once every couple weeks” storm.

A new study finds red dye used in Skittles, Doritos and other snacks could trigger irritable bowel diseases – or, as they’re now known, Sour Cherry & Flamin’ Hot irritable bowel diseases.

Bocco, a chimpanzee at the Miami Zoo, died unexpectedly at age 28. Chimpanzees life spans average between 50 and 60 years. A necropsy is scheduled to review cause of death, but investigators are using sign language to ask questions of Bocco’s ex-girlfriend, who was seen throwing her feces at him earlier in the day.

A 10-year-old boy was punished for calling his fifth-grade teacher “ma’am”, having to write “ma’am” four times on each line of a sheet of paper. The student’s parents objected, and had him assigned to a different teacher. As the boy left, he presented his old teacher with the phrase “later, bitch” written four times on every line of a sheet of paper.

ESPN’s morning talk show flop, ‘Get Up’, is scaling back from three hours to two, and is losing co-host Michelle Beadle. Beadle will relocate to Los Angeles to host her own show, ‘Get Lost’.

Louis CK performed stand-up at New York’s Comedy Cellar on Sunday night, the first time he’s performed since admitting to sexual harassment and masturbating in front of women. The audience was reportedly happy to see him pull out some new material.

According to Hollywood trade website TheWrap, Ben Affleck may lose his Batman role due to post-rehab insurance costs. Hearing the news, Henry ‘Superman’ Cavill, Gal ‘Wonder Woman’ Gadot, and Jesse ‘Lex Luthor’ Eisenberg have all started drinking to see if they, too, could lose their jobs in future DC Comics universe movies.

President Trump changed course and re-lowered the White House flag to half staff in honor of deceased Senator and decorated war veteran John McCain. Melania Trump has also hidden the President’s medication to keep him at half-staff or below for the foreseeable future.

New data from low-income lender Earnin says that Netflix’ latest price hike to $13.99/month may have scared away low-income consumers, especially the ones who can’t afford internet service or a television.

A Canadian woman’s profanity-laced Facebook post has gone viral, after she canceled her wedding because invited guests refused to pay a $1,500/person “attendance fee.” People on the guest list claim that the plan may have actually worked, if the reception not had a cash bar.

Tabitha Frost, 29, a California mom with hyperlactation syndrome — overproduction of breast milk – has donated over 1,000 pints of breast milk to mothers having difficulty producing. She pumps every three hours, which she likens to a full-time job. Frost says she also sells milk to pay to clean the shirts of friends that she hugs.

Eddie Murphy’s girlfriend Paige Butcher is pregnant with his 10th child – or, the 11th showing of Eddie Murphy Raw.