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Ricardo, a large steer captured running on New Jersey Transit train tracks in December, is hospitalized with an infection. All of Ricardo’s girlfriends are advised to get tested.

A woman was trapped for 15 hours overnight in a gondola lift at Lake Tahoe’s Heavenly Ski Resort. The lift was apparently shut off with her in it, and things went downhill from there.

E. Jean Carroll said she plans to spend the $83 million awarded to her by the jury in her defamation lawsuit on “something Donald Trump hates”. She’ll still have $82,999,000 left after buying the treadmill.

For the first time ever, a live baby great white shark has been spotted in the wild off the California coast. The baby shark was fine having its picture taken, but begged whoever took the photo not to play the song.

Taylor Swift was seen mouthing the words “go away, please” as cameras showed her watching boyfriend Travis Kelce from a suite at the AFC Championship. An estimated 30 million people watching at home were saying the same thing to their TVs.

Eminem also watched from a suite as his Detroit Lions suffered a crushing defeat to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship. No word on whether Eminem also hooked up with a tight end after the game.

Privacy advocates are concerned that Google plans to allow artificial intelligence to read and analyze texts sent on its Google Messages platform. AI already can tell which messages are really boring and lie about never getting the text.

Sofia Vergara said her acting jobs are “limited” because of her Colombian accent – but adds that meetings with producers are “plentiful” because of her breasts.

A 49-year-old military veteran faked needing a wheelchair for 20 years to collect almost $700,000 in disability benefits. He was working as a kindergarten teacher, where a confidential informant captured video of him doing the Hokey Pokey.

An Associated Press investigation found U.S. prison labor is used in the supply chain of many popular food brands, including Gold Medal flour, Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, and Double-Stuf Life Without Parole Oreo Cookies.

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Planet Fitness is offering free memberships to teens this summer. Teens are welcome to get in shape, or to bully overweight paying members while they eat free pizza.

Google is adding its Bard artificial intelligence tool to search results, to address “questions you never thought Search could answer”. So far, Bard has been bom-bard-ed with “Why is my wife mad at me?”

A couple in the UK is raising their kids with ‘child autonomy’ – where the children make their own choices for schooling, food, bed times & chores. They say it’s cheaper because none of the kids has made it past age six.

Joran van der Sloot, convicted of murder in Peru, will be extradited to the U.S. to face charges in the disappearance of Natalie Holloway in 2005. He will return to Peru after his U.S. trial, breaking a record for airline miles earned by a double-murderer.

Gen Z women are embracing the ‘everything shower’, where they take hours-long showers to do all of their personal grooming. Then they lie flat for several hours waiting for their skin to unpucker before hiding when their parents get the water bill.

Amazon is debuting free Fire TV channels – to the delight of cheapskate seniors, which quickly switches to frustration when they realize they need a wifi password to watch old Andy Griffith Shows.

The Philadelphia Flyers named former enforcer Keith Jones as Director of Hockey Operations. Jones promised to return the team to playoff caliber, and to personally beat up anyone who disagrees with him.

An Australian vegan family has gone viral for their letter to a neighbor, where they ask to keep the windows closed when they cook meat because it makes them ill. The family then drove past an Arby’s and are in critical condition after multiple seizures.

A new study claims cannabis use is implicated in 30% of schizophrenia cases. The other 70% are trying to find out where the 30% get their weed.

Bravo host Andy Cohen asked The View co-host Sunny Hostin which of the panelists farts the most on-air. Hostin quickly replied Whoopi Goldberg, but also added Goldberg is nowhere near Rosie O’ Donnell’s record totals.

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Google unveiled its rival to Open AI’s ChatGPT, dubbed ‘Bard’. It will be available to the general public in a few weeks, but in the meantime Bard will be used by Google’s “trusted testers” to see how well it helps them cheat on exams.

Southwest Airlines and FedEx jets nearly collided at Austin, Texas’ airport when they were directed to the same runway for their takeoff and landing. Air traffic controllers quickly told Southwest to cancel their takeoff since they were so good at it.

Tom Brady said he’ll start his broadcasting career with Fox in 2024, leading to speculation he may try playing again in 2023, or worse – make 80 For Brady: II.

Actress Megan Fox said on social media that she attended Clive Davis’ pre-Grammys party with a broken wrist and a concussion. Fox’s boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly is now known as Blunt Object Kelly.

Sasha Walpole identified herself as the mystery woman to whom Prince Harry lost his virginity, as he described in his book. Walpole worked as Prince Charles’ “stable girl”, caring for his horses, and occasionally helping a young sire out to stud.

Chris Brown lost in the Grammys Best R&B Album category to Robert Glasper, then angrily tweeted ‘Who is Robert Glasper?’. Brown was then informed that Glasper was a) the guy who won; & b) someone who never punched his girlfriend in the face.

Florida Governor Ron Desantis will appoint all five leaders of Disney’s special tax district in Orlando. Their first order of business will be to require Disney & EPCOT to stop teaching Critical Mouse Theory.

Salma Hayek said Hollywood would never cast her in comedies because she’s too sexy, and thanked Adam Sandler for changing that with the ‘Grown Ups‘ films. Hayek said she now wants to be cast in a comedy that’s actually funny.

Rihanna may go on tour following her Super Bowl halftime performance. With Beyonce and Taylor Swift already planning tours, Ticketmaster is bracing for what they call Hurricane RiBeyTay.

Media celebrity Maria Menounos said she’s expecting a baby with her husband after “a decade of trying” – and boy, are their genitals tired.