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Tinder is testing live in-app trivia. Games include ‘Am I Married?’; ‘What Strains of Herpes Do I Have?’; & ‘What’s In My Underwear?’

Seattle is closing 20 miles of city streets to most vehicular traffic so residents can exercise and bike on them. They’ll also retrain dozens of cops to spot and arrest Big Wheel DUIs.

Lyft is requiring riders and drivers to wear masks and to state that, to the best of their knowledge, they don’t have COVID-19 symptoms. Only then can they proceed to creep each other out.

Google is unifying all of its messaging & communications apps into a single team, to be known as The Google-Alphabet/Google Chat/Gmail/Google Duo/Google Meet/Google Hangouts/Google Messages…team.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver held a conference call with players, explaining that he didn’t know when or if fans could return to games and – more importantly – when groupies & hos would return.

The average number of passengers on a commercial U.S. airline flight during the pandemic is 23. The average number of lost bags is 20.

Diplo’s 30-year-old girlfriend Jevon King gave birth to their child. And baby makes Triplo.

Nutritional yeast, also known as ‘nooch’, is growing in popularity as a snack seasoning. It’s also what your girlfriend means when she says she has a nooch infection.

A London man whose Mount Everest climb was postponed due to the pandemic simulated it by walking up and down a flight of stairs 6,506 times in 24 hours & 30 minutes. To make it more realistic, he turned the temperature down and littered the stairs with dead bodies.

Paul L. Vazquez, the viral sensation “Double Rainbow Guy”, passed away at age 57, and will now be somewhere over them.

 

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Customers claim Instacart shoppers are stealing their groceries. Instacart executives say the best way to prevent theft is to not order cookies and potato chips.

Producers of Modern Family – which ended its decade-long run on Tuesday night – hinted at possible spin-off shows for its characters. So far the most likely characters to get their own show are Sofia Vergara’s breasts.

Google told employees they can’t use videoconferencing app Zoom on company-issued laptops anymore. Workers will need to use Google tools like Google Meet or Google Hangouts if they want to share below-the-neck nudes.

Tom Brady told Howard Stern during an interview that former Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski has an “amazing” penis, but that his balls are a little too taut for his liking.

Ellen Degeneres jokes that self-isolation is “like being in jail”. Some women inmates said she’s kinda right, since they, too, are “gay for the stay”.

Levi’s ‘Super Mario’-themed jeans go on sale today online. Just add the items to your cart, enter a payment method, and defeat Donkey Kong ten times.

Convenience store chain Wawa is donating use of a refrigerated truck for the state of New Jersey’s use as a temporary morgue. Families retrieving bodies can add a bag of chips for 99 cents.

The Unicode Consortium – overseers of emoji – announced no new emoji will be issued in 2021 because of the COVID-19 pandemic. People can still submit new emoji suggestions, but until then, keep the two oranges and eggplant ready in your ‘recently used’ tab.

Yelp! laid off 1,000 employees, leading to Yelp! collapsing in on itself as the target of hundreds of scathing Yelp! reviews.

Walmart’s grocery shopping app achieved a record number of downloads. The bad news is that orange soda and Cheetos are still backordered until Halloween.