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The estate of the late Paul Reubens – ‘Pee Wee Herman’ is auctioning furniture from his private collection. Buyers are advised that the furniture does not talk, and seats from his private screening room are sold ‘as is’.

ESPN host Pat McAfee apologized for calling WNBA Indiana Fever rookie Caitlin Clark a “white b*tch” while praising her impact on the league. McAfee promised to only use the phrase when referring to caucasian male athletes he doesn’t like.

A Delta Airlines first class passenger had a “poop accident” which caused the entire front of the aircraft to stink. Other passengers praised the flight attendant’s handling of the difficult situation, as she used her heel to kick out a window so oxygen masks deployed.

A Philadelphia city crossing guard was arrested for giving cannabis edibles to teenagers on their way to school. None of the kids are learning anything, but everyone’s chill and hallway fistfights are way down.

Donald Trump lost his New York State gun permit after his felony conviction. He’s still expected to get off 100 shots at his Florida & New Jersey golf courses, then say he shot 70.

A toddler was lifted in to the air by her shirt by a giraffe as the family drove through a Texas safari park. The giraffe lowered the toddler back down without injury, but the toddler will be a little quicker to hand over the Skittles next time.

For the first time ever, ocean wildlife observers in Australia witnessed a tiger shark regurgitating a whole echidna – a dome-shaped sea mammal covered in spines. In another first, that same day, they witnessed a different shark regurgitate an entire Arby’s Beef & Cheddar combo.

A 2022 study asserted that 38 percent of WNBA players are gay. A similar study of NBA players remains incomplete because 10 percent of the players haven’t returned the questionnaire.

Author Suzanne Collins announced a fifth ‘Hunger Games’ book – a prequel set 24 years before the original – tentatively titled “No Thanks I’m Full’.

A new sexually-transmitted fungal infection, TMVII, was found on a New York City man, with rashes on his penis, buttocks & limbs after he traveled to Greece, England & California and had sex with partners in each location. Worse, he can’t find a doctor he can pay in frequent flier miles.

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Donald & Melania Trump marked their 13th anniversary Wednesday. Traditionally, the 13th anniversary is marked with a gift of lace; so the President laced his wife’s drink with rohypnol before she could lock herself in a separate bedroom.

Illusionist David Copperfield is accused of drugging and assaulting a model 30 years ago, when she was just 17. The woman claims Copperfield poured a substance in her drink, then hid the rest of the drink by pouring it into a top hat.

Oprah Winfrey addressed recent rumors by telling InStyle magazine that she “doesn’t have the DNA for a presidential run…..just tons and tons and tons of money for it..”

Heather Nelson became the first woman to head a whisky distillery by herself. Nelson – founder of Toulvaddie brand – posed for her official CEO portrait, disliked it, and then posed for another after the artist had a few scotches…and looked great.

A senior Trump Administration official in the Housing & Urban Development department apologized for calling a member of the White House press corps “Miss Piggy”, saying “that’s the President’s job.”

Scientists in Greece have recreated the face of “Dawn”, an 18-year-old girl whose 9,000-year-old remains were found in a cave in 1993. Scientists are now working feverishly to recreate another 18-year-old girl to tell Dawn how cute she looks.

United Airlines announced that it’s increasing capacity on flights between 4 and 6% this year; Southwest said they’ll be adding 5% more room. The additions are a combination of more Basic Economy seats, and Companion Crates for people traveling with small dogs.

A New Jersey couple being married by a judge had to finish the ceremony in a courthouse bathroom, as EMTs gave oxygen to the bride’s mother for her asthma. Ironically, she was the only one who didn’t have difficulty breathing.

Facebook’s Oculus team invented a new increment of time for use in processing content. The ‘Flick’ is 1/705,600,000 of a second long; and they’re encouraging content creators to embrace it by calling Facebook “a huge waste of Flicks.”

‘Flip or Flop’ star Tarek El Moussa is reportedly dating lingerie model Patience Silva. The two met on a celebrity dating app, and things got serious after she approved the five-figure budget to work in her backyard.