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A Texas man changed his name to Literally Anybody Else so that he could announce his candidacy for U.S. President. He has yet to choose a running mate, but is leaning toward Whatever Dude and Who T.F. Cares.

A new study finds young people get most of their calories from processed food. Seizing the opportunity, Oscar Mayer plans to expand the Lunchables line to Breakfastables, Dinnerables and Snackables.

Joe Biden tested positive for COVID. Democrats are recommending he quarantine until at least the middle of November.

Ford will spend billions to expand large pickup truck production in a plant it had originally had planned for electric cars. They’ll also expand production of Truck Nutz in a plant originally intended for EV Nutz.

Amazon Prime Day drove a record $14.2 billion in sales, an 11% increase over 2023. A slightly lower 10% increase was recorded in delivery driver heat strokes.

Costco is selling an “apocalypse bucket” with food that will last 25 years. The bucket contains 80 entrees & sides, 30 breakfast servings, 40 powdered drink servings, and an Uber Eats Apocalypse coupon for when it runs out.

Kris Jenner underwent a hysterectomy to remove an ovarian tumor. Her boyfriend Corey Gamble said the worst part of her recovery was “not hooking up for two weeks”. And the second-worst part was “losing camera time to the tumor”.

An account on gaming website Steam which was believed to belong to Donald Trump’s assassin was determined to be fake. However an account belonging to him was verified on Out Of Steam.

Tiger Woods arrived to compete in The Open Championship in Scotland – as host course Royal Troon opened up a four-day pop-up Perkins Pancake house for him to spend time with hostesses.

14-year-old Cavan Sullivan made his Major League Soccer debut in the 85th minute for the Philadelphia Union in their 5-1 victory over the New England Revolution. Gracious Philadelphia sports fans say they’ll wait at least until he’s 16 before telling him he sucks.

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Recent reexamination of early human hunter-gatherer societies conclude that women were active hunters, not just men. Although hunts including women took a lot longer to get started.

NATO allies are expected to approve the inclusion of Sweden – adding that nation’s powerful navy, and unequalled world-class Bikini Team.

Amazon Prime Day kicked off, with two days worth of deals on July 11th & 12th, followed by three days of record-breaking delivery driver heat strokes July 13/14/15.

Viral video shows four scantily-clad women having a spontaneous brawl inside the Wynn Las Vegas hotel. Security eventually broke it up, and the Wynn convinced the women to sign up for three more fights.

A new, damaging ransomware program called Big Head is being spread to PCs via a bogus Windows Update process. Experts say you can tell the Windows Update isn’t real because it takes less than an hour.

Donald Trump is asking for his classified documents felony trial to take place after the 2024 presidential election. And after his felony trial in New York for hush money payments. And after the felony trial he’ll probably have for the fake electors scheme. And after he dies.

Sega of America employees voted to unionize – pissing off thousands of kids now that Sonic the Hedgehog will only chase rings eight hours a day, with multiple mandatory half-hour breaks.

2019 All-Star Chicago White Sox pitcher Lucas Giolito announced that his wife Ariana Dubelko filed for divorce. Giolito has a four-seam fastball, curve, and change-up; Dubelko throws an effective splitter.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania published a guide to help determine whether published articles or academic works were generated by Artificial Intelligence. The guide was generated using artificial intelligence .

Psychologists advise people who are “bad” at flirting to use a ‘Triangle Method’ – looking at your desired woman or man’s one eye, then the mouth, then the other eye. Repeat until it works, or until the pepper spray kicks in.