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Comcast introduced a new Video Doorbell to its Xfinity Home Security service, so you can see your empty front porch at the time the guy was supposed to show up to fix your tv service.

Amazon devices with the Alexa assistant now feature a Santa Claus voice. “Ho! Ho! Ho!..set your own goddamn kitchen timer, there’s only a week ’til Christmas Eve you dope”, said Santa/Alexa.

Melania Trump is selling NFTs. The first ones are from her topless modeling sessions, so they’re Nude Fake T*ts.

A troubling TikTok challenge urges school violence on December 17th. But a new wrinkle limits participation to only students who successfully complete the milk crate challenge in the school parking lot.

An FDA decision expands the ability of women in approved states to receive an abortion pill in the mail from a certified prescriber. However, overnight shipping is still the patient’s responsibility.

Former White House Communications Director Alyssa Farah spoke to CNN about the text she sent to Chief of Staff Mark Meadows while the January 6th riots unfolded; a text which read “where are our goddamn Big Macs?”

Pope Francis turns 85 today. So if you’re wondering where all the young boys around Vatican City are, it’s the birthday party.

Sony showed off its new smartphone camera sensor that gathers twice as much light to improve photos – huge news for the four Americans who buy Sony smartphones.

Miss Alaska was crowned Miss America – reinforcing the pageant’s strategic shift away from judging based on physical beauty.

Actor Chris Noth is accused by two women of sexual assault, marking the first time a Law & Order actor has been investigated by Law & Order SVU.

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Pennsylvania’s Dorney Park amusement park is the site of a mass vaccination clinic. They may leave it up through the summer to treat water park visitors for hepatitis.

Law & Order SVU producers say they’re hiring as many unemployed Broadway theater employees as they can – but with a preference for sex creeps.

The same researcher who claimed the ability to predict sexual orientation by facial scan now claims it can also predict political party. Some are outraged, others think it could be useful helping gay Republicans find each other.

The New York Times reports some jobless women are selling nudes on Only Fans to make ends meet, but are disappointed with low sales. “Maybe if you weren’t 80” said a choosy customer.

Donald Trump was impeached for a second time, as history repeached itself.

Snapchat permanently banned Donald Trump, citing the potential to incite violence, and, of course, the thousands of dick pics.

Siegfried Fischbacher of Siegfried & Roy died in Las Vegas at age 81. This follows the death of partner Roy Horn in May. Their famous white tigers are planning to retire from magic and start a singing act.

Joe Biden reportedly has to turn to Plan B because none of his cabinet picks will be confirmed before his inauguration. Fortunately Donald Trump had plenty of Plan B left in his medicine cabinet.

Former Michigan Governor Rick Snyder is facing neglect charges for failure to address the Flint, Michigan water crisis while in office. His attorneys claim the charges don’t hold undrinkable water.

Joe & Jill Biden announced they’ll adopt a cat once they’re in the White House. This, after the prior tenant preferred to get his pussy outside of it.