Actress Jennifer Garner and her daughter Violet had to be rescued when they became lost kayaking in Sweden. Garner thanked her rescuer, known only as ‘Mattias’, and expressed her regret over divorcing Batman at a time like this.

‘The Bachelorette’ Becca Kufrin selected Garrett Yrigoyen over Blake Horstmann, and Yrigoyen proposed marriage on the series season finale.  Becca dismissed Blake, saying she believed there “was a better fit” for them out there. She told Blake she will keep his naked selfie in her active file and contact him if another suitable position opens up.

CVS announced it will offer $59 video-enabled ‘Telemedicine’ sessions via its smartphone app. Users will be able to contact a medical professional 24 hours a day, although the hours of 1a.m – 5a.m. will just be CVS janitors declining unauthorized oxy-contin refills.

Delta Airlines announced it’s rolling out a three-course meal and wine option for its economy passengers, saying it will “feel ..like dining at a favorite restaurant”. That’s true if your favorite three-course restaurant meal is served inches away from a snoring stranger,  and two of the three courses are pretzels.

Avocados as large as a human head, dubbed ‘Avozilla’, have arrived in Australia. They’re the equivalent of 20 regular-sized avocados, which is convenient for prepping large batches of guacamole. On the downside, a dozen people have sliced off their forearm removing the pit with a machete.

Miguel Angel Corea Diaz, a 35-year-old alleged kingpin in the MS-13 drug gang, complained to a judge about poor conditions in the New York county jail where he’s being held. Diaz said he gets death threats and isn’t allowed to use the phone, comparing his surroundings to having a day job in the Oval Office.

According to a Politico/Morning Consult poll, 79% of African-American voters say race relations have deteriorated since Donald Trump became president. The other 21% asked for clarification as to what “race relations” meant.

Disney Store is launching a toll-free “Sleep Shop Hotline” that kids can call to receive one of five messages from Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck and Goofy.  Minnie asks if they’ve brushed their teeth and Goofy talks about his fun day with Mickey. A sixth message–Scrooge McDuck asking kids what they’re wearing–was nixed.

Business Insider released a list of the most-Googled ‘money related terms’ in each state. For instance in California, it was ‘cryptocurrency’; in New York, it was ‘health insurance’; in Mississippi, it was “sell my goat”.

The Harris Poll ranked the social media apps that respondents found “hardest to break away from”. The winner? Facebook, which 49% of respondents named. Facebook was only declared the winner after Harris Poll-‘ers told men that, technically, Pornhub isn’t a social media app.

 

Fitbit added menstrual cycle tracking to its devices, which means they’ll wait and tell women how many steps they’ve taken once they’re in a better mood.

A filmmaker was killed by a giraffe while working on a project in South Africa. After a tense standoff, the giraffe dropped its AR-15 and surrendered to authorities.

Special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly rejected a request by President Trump’s legal team to answer his questions in the Russia investigation ‘in writing’. Mueller ruled out the take-home test after finding out Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani had purchased a Teachers Edition of “Intro to Treason” on eBay.

First Lady Melania Trump introduced her new program for children’s health, ‘Be Best’. The platform has a three-fold focus: healthy living; positive use of social media; and combating opioid abuse. President Trump attended the press conference while eating Big Macs, tweeting insults at Robert Mueller and hitting up Ronny Jackson for some Oxy.

Melania has been accused of copying Michelle Obama in crafting ‘Be Best’, including modifying Obama’s ‘Be Better’ message and issuing a pamphlet about online behavior that was copied from the Obama-era FTC. Melania denied the allegations while wearing blackface, a black wig and an affordable J Crew dress.

A California judge upheld a ruling that coffee sold in the state must carry a cancer warning. Starbucks scrambled to add “Consuming this beverage may increase risk of venti half-caf soy double-shot no-whip cappucinonoma.”

Executives from Google, Amazon & Facebook visit Washington on Thursday to discuss the future of artificial intelligence — with White House staff who represent the present state of no human intelligence.

Flight attendants speaking with publication Who What Wear shared what men and women should wear when flying to increase their chance of a first class upgrade: “anything but Crocs.”

The IAAF, governing body for track & field, may rule that South African woman sprinter Caster Semenya may be barred from competing due to her high levels of naturally-occurring testosterone, and because her balls keep snagging on the high hurdles.

A crocodile tore off the arm of a bride-to-be as she kayaked with her fiance eight days before her wedding in Zimbabwe. She was rescued, the wedding took place on schedule, and the bride tossed her arm to single women gathered at the reception, hoping they’d catch it and be next to marry.