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A Pennsylvania woman discovered she’s a perfect match for a Kentucky man in need of a kidney. She’ll travel there for the transplant operation just as soon as Kentucky’s top kidney specialist gets his jackknife sharpened and new reading glasses.

Delta Airlines is eliminating a program guaranteeing passengers checked bags are on the carousel within 20 minutes of flight arrival, or the bag owner gets 2,500 flyer miles. They say every flight to Philadelphia is costing them about 2.5 million miles.

Liam Gallagher of Oasis – one of this year’s nominees for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame – told the Rock HoF to “do me a favor and f*ck off”. In response, board members of the Hall told Gallagher please don’t look back in anger.

The Department of Transportation is increasing Chinese airline flights to the U.S. from 35 per week to 50. The move is intended to limit the number of freezing deaths from Chinese tourists trying to enter the U.S. via spy balloons.

A Reddit user claimed that AI ChatGPT performed better when he offered it $100,000 to complete a task. ChatGPT finished the task, is still waiting on the money, and hired someone to break the Reddit user’s fingers.

Sony is laying off 900 employees from its PlayStation division, each of whom received Game Over notifications.

Ticket reseller SeatGeek is launching a ‘Smart Pricing’ feature that uses AI to tell sellers the best sales price for tickets, and a ‘Give Up’ feature that uses a buyer’s bank account & credit info to tell them there’s no way they’re getting Taylor Swift tickets.

Madonna has taken images of the late Luther Vandross out of an AIDS tribute displayed during her live show because he didn’t die of AIDS. The tribute contains photos of Freddie Mercury, Keith Haring… and Donald Trump, captioned with “Let’s Hope So”.

A new University of Texas study claims orgasms aren’t just for pleasure, they ‘rewire the brain’ to create a long-lasting bond between sex partners. The study explains why women have more guy friends, and why men are so good to their hands.

The latest Gen Z relationship trend is women seeking “babygirl” men. Instead of toxic masculinity, babygirl guys are in touch with their feminine side, display some feminine traits, and are gay.

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U.S. billionaire and art collector Michael Steinhardt agreed to surrender $70 million in stolen artwork – $69,999,998 in rare portraits & antiquities, along with ‘Dogs Playing Poker’.

Researchers found taking Viagra cuts the risk of Alzheimer’s by up to 69 percent. Sadly the other 31 percent don’t realize they’re walking around with a huge erection.

GOP Congressman Devin Nunes announced he’s resigning to become CEO of Donald Trump’s new social media platform, despite a pre-politics background in dairy farming. Nunes claims to be qualified, since he grew up shoveling bullshit.

Travelers flying to the United States must test negative for COVID-19 a day before their arrival, or get a signed agreement from their dog to share the crate.

The United Arab Emirates announced it’s switching to a 4-and-a-half day work week, and a Saturday/Sunday weekend, to better align with Western cultures. Men look forward to spending the additional time with their kids and wives.

68 ICU doctors & nurses at a Malaga, Spain hospital tested positive for COVID-19 after a superspreader office Christmas party. The most popular ‘stolen’ gifts in the party’s White Elephant swap were gift bags of monoclonal antibodies and Remdesivir.

George Cacioppo, a 64-year-old Sony Playstation executive, was fired after being caught in a sting soliciting sex with a decoy pretending to be a 15-year-old boy. Cacioppo didn’t end up getting the sex, or the Call Of Duty tips he was looking forward to.

Amazon launched subscription service Alexa Together, using Amazon Devices and digital assistants to monitor the health and activities of seniors. Subscribers can simply ask “Alexa, is my rich grandfather dead yet?”

Kyle Rittenhouse appeared on a BlazeTV podcast and said “f**k you Lebron”, over Lebron James’ criticism of Rittenhouse crying on the witness stand. Rittenhouse said he used to be a Lebron fan, because he was also a great shooter.

Zion National Park in Utah announced anyone hiking the Angels Landing rock formation after April, 2022 will have to win a lottery to get a permit. “Congratulations on your fractured skull or broken ankle!” reads the email sent to winners.