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Peacock network debuted ‘Queer Planet’, a documentary exploring alternate sexual relationships in the animal kingdom. One of the featured couples is a lion ‘bromance’, which causes a less-than-Happy Pride.

Rapper 50 Cent visited Capitol Hill to lobby for greater representation in the liquor & spirits industry among persons of color, b*tches, and hos.

Donald Trump will meet for a probation interview following his felony conviction. His probation officer will advise him to keep his nose clean – or, at least no more orange than the rest of his face.

A bull at an Oregon rodeo hopped a fence and injured four spectators before being captured. The rodeo was halted, and the bull promised to return to restart the rodeo with him leading, 4-0.

Users of hair-loss prevention drug finasteride are being warned of impotence as a side effect. Hair Club For Men is considering a name change to Hair & Strictly Platonic Dating Club For Men.

A kite surfer stranded on a California beach used rocks to spell HELP before being spotted & rescued. He shortened his message after realizing he didn’t have enough rocks to spell DUDE..HELP.

PGA Tour golfer Scottie Scheffler won Jack Nicklaus’ Memorial Tournament in Dublin, Ohio. He celebrated with a police escort to his victory party – dragging two of them as they clung to the side of his car.

A man lost 45 pounds in three months thanks to a new bariatric surgery that involves magnets. A magnet in his colon keeps him from getting up from his chair to get food.

A woman in Mexico died when she got too close to a passing vintage steam-engine train to take a selfie with it. A second woman died when a man in a top hat, cape & moustache tied her to the tracks in front of it.

The Who’s Roger Daltrey said he’s “f**king sick of it” when speaking about what’s ruining live concerts. He claims it’s people checking the setlist at sites like setlist.fm before the show … and not 80-year-olds charging premium prices for tickets.

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A 70-year-old Oklahoma man was arrested in Arizona, driving in his underwear with his dead wife’s nude body in the passenger seat. The man said his wife died overnight at a hotel, but he decided to continue with their trip so he could use carpool lanes.

Alabama lawmakers passed a near-total ban on abortions, frustrating women’s reproductive rights advocates while boosting Florida tourism for pregnant Alabama teens looking for a long weekend.

Uber is offering ‘Quiet Mode’ for premium rides like Uber Black, where you can request that the driver not speak to you, thereby allowing women passengers to decide if they’d rather be creeped out by conversation or silence.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the number of children born in the U.S. dropped to its lowest level in 32 years – coinciding with a rise in the number of people saying they were Satisfied or Very Satisfied with their U.S. airline flight.

Claude Monet’s ‘Haystacks’ sold for $110.7 million at auction, setting a record for an impressionist work. The buyer was unidentified, but is rumored to be saving up for a new matching couch.

Roger Daltrey yelled at pot smokers near the stage at The Who’s Madison Square Garden show, saying he’s allergic to it and that it ruins his singing voice. The fans apologized and quickly switched to smoking meth.

Shooting on the 25th James Bond film was temporarily halted when star Daniel Craig’s ankle was sprained, not stirred.

Former NBA star Lamar Odom has a new memoir, admitting to cheating on ex-wife Khloe Kardashian, writing, “I couldn’t keep my d*ck in my pants or the coke out of my nose”. Co-author Chris Palmer is credited with help bringing this eloquent prose to the page.

Robert Kraft’s lawyers continue to argue against public release of Kraft’s massage parlor video, saying it will limit his right to a fair trial, and is already limiting his ability to hire massage therapists for the New England Patriots.

New lawsuits are threatening to disrupt the standard 6% commission structure for licensed realtors. Lawyers for the National Association of Realtors responded to the suits with arguments printed on magnets that the judges can put on their refrigerators.