A Tennessee mother is accused of having sex with nine different underage boys in exchange for vape pens. Like many women, she was only interested in sex if you showered her with Juuls.

A 26-year-old Missouri teacher who had sex with one of her middle school students can no longer be prosecuted because she married him and they left the state. The D.A. and the principal did announce the middle schooler failed health class.

Viral video shows a bear in Northern California breaking into a home and eating leftover KFC it found on the kitchen counter. A different video shows the same bear breaking into an urgent care to treat itself for gastrointestinal issues.

A Utah father was arrested for ordering his 4-year-old son to shoot at police officers while at a McDonald’s drive-thru. A McDonald’s spokesperson said they immediately discontinued the Glock Happy Meal.

Many couples decided to marry on 2-22-22, a once-in-a lifetime date. In several years many men are expected to forget their anniversary anyway.

AT&T is shutting down their 3G wireless network. Now 2008 can no longer call and ask for its Nokia phone back.

Netflix plans to invest $45 million in French-language films to broaden their appeal in European markets. $44 million will be spent teaching Adam Sandler to speak French.

The U.S. Women’s National Soccer team – who’d sued USA Soccer over unequal pay with the Men’s National Team – settled their equal-pay lawsuit with USA Soccer for $24 million .. about 80% of what they asked for.

Country singer Sam Hunt’s wife Hannah Fowler filed for divorce, despite being seven month’s pregnant with Hunt’s baby. She’s suing for primary custody, alimony & child support, and to never have to hear a corny song about the whole thing.

A Starbucks employee noticed a teen girl being harassed, so she brought a hot chocolate to her, telling her how to signal for help. The girl ended up being okay, but was pissed at being charged $8 for the hot chocolate she didn’t ask for.

After 5 years, a cat missing from Phoenix was found 1,200 miles away in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The cat was still in remarkable shape, weighing 19 pounds, and meowed that he’s really into crystals and holistic healing now.

Senator Elizabeth Warren said a recently-revealed secret White House dinner between Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg & President Trump was “corruption”. Zuckerberg said he checked in, but Warren couldn’t see it because he unfollowed her.

Fred Cox, former Minnesota Vikings kicker and inventor of the original NERF football, died at age 80. Cox is mourned by Vikings fans, and millions of parents who cite the NERF football as the cheapest gift they could possibly give.

Sam Hunt, country singer known for such hits as ‘Drinkin’ Too Much’, was arrested for DUI in Nashville. Asked what he was doing with a blood-alcohol content of .173, Hunt replied “research”.

A university professor in Syracuse, New York released results of a yearlong study of ticks. One in three ticks studied were carrying at least one disease; the rest were carrying blood in a thermos for lunch. [story h/t to A.D.]

A 14-year-old boy faces hate crime charges for posting a photo of a black classmate on Craigslist in a listing titled “Slave for Sale”. The boy is assisting investigators after telling them he received over a dozen offers from Trump Resorts.

Former Penn State Assistant Coach and convicted child abuser Jerry Sandusky is scheduled to arrive at a Pennsylvania courthouse to be resentenced, and because he never turned in his playbook.

T-Mobile admitted some of its prepaid wireless customers’ data was accessed in a criminal hack, but that the criminals said there’s no point stealing the identity of people with such terrible credit scores.

While demonstrating the toughness of the new Tesla Cybertruck during a press event, Elon Musk inadvertently cracked two of the windows. He quickly covered them up with a gun rack and a confederate flag decal and kept going.

President Trump commented on Impeachment proceedings, saying “I want a trial”. But he’s expected to walk back his remarks once aides tell him Matlock is dead.