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Spirit Halloween turned 40 years old, and celebrated at its newest location once the Bed, Bath & Beyond finally got kicked out.

A small plane towing a banner crashed into the ocean near Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. Even worse, the woman reading the marriage proposal on the banner said no.

A Maryland woman discovered she has at least 60 donor-conceived siblings – and boy, is her father’s arm tired.

Following Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce’s failed attempt to give Taylor Swift his phone number after her shows in Kansas City, Swift released a new single, ‘Ten-Digit Bracelet‘, bashing an unnamed “thirsty football horndog”.

Donald Trump has allegedly spent over $40 million in campaign money on legal fees. Lawyers now think that maybe they wouldn’t mind working for him after all.

In a tight U.S. job market, cases of illegal child labor are on the rise. It’s so bad, some Amazon warehouse workers unable to take bathroom breaks are urinating in their empty sippy cups.

99-year-old trucking company Yellow went out of business. Yellow operated in the Red for so long, they were turning Orange.

Large-breasted women are removing their bras and tossing them onstage at Drake concerts, including G, L, & H-cup undergarments. The women are thrilled at Drake’s attention, but some were injured by concertgoers stepping on their breasts as they exit.

A Japanese man spent $14,000 on a custom-made costume to make himself look like a collie, and went for his first public walk as a dog. Onlookers were unaware until he bagged and discarded his own stool.

A medical journal claims four-to-five minutes of daily “intense physical activity” could reduce cancer risk among non-exercisers. This is great news for men, bad news for women hoping the activity would last longer.

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Beyonce is partnering with Peloton on “various forms of fitness class curation” and “extra sturdy bicycle seats”.

Scooby-Doo co-creator Ken Spears passed away at age 82. No signs of foul play, but the gang is investigating the abandoned amusement park where his body was found just in case.

Donald Trump, Jr and girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle are reportedly interested in taking over the GOP National Committee from current Chair Ronna McDaniel. They’re disappointed that large GOP donors don’t want lap dances from her.

NASA administrator Jim Bridenstine – an appointee of Donald Trump – said he will step down once Biden takes office. Biden plans to accept the resignation and told Bridenstine “may the Space Force be with you”.

Spotify is acquiring podcast hosting company Megaphone. Megaphone hosts over 5,000 podcasts reaching about 4,000 listeners.

Researchers say injectable drug cabotegravir is most effective at preventing women from contracting HIV from an infected partner. So, one injection, then all the unprotected injections they want after that.

General Motors will reintroduce the Hummer as an all-electric vehicle, but will limit sales to prevent rolling blackouts while owners recharge them.

The Masters golf tournament will be played this week. It’s unique in that it’s happening in November, and the star attraction is a black dude who actually voted for Trump.

Twitter may limit ‘Likes’ for posts containing misinformation. But stolen jokes and memes will still rack ’em up.

Ulta will open hundreds of makeup & beauty shops in Target stores. Not to be outdone, Walmart will open its own in-store makeup and beauty shops from Spirit Halloween.