Lava from the Mauna Loa volcano eruption threatens to take out the main highway running through Hawai’i’s Big Island. Officials have so far refused the suggestion from the Hawai’i Republican Committee to stop it by building a wall.

Prince William’s godmother, Royal Aide Lady Susan Hussey, resigned from official duties at Buckingham Palace after racist questions directed toward a black visitor. It’s the end of a storied career for a shameless Hussey.

The Bidens’ first White House state dinner, honoring France’s Emmanuel Macron, will feature a menu of poached lobster or beef with shallot marmalade – the latter made from Whoppers & Big Macs frozen after the last White House state dinner.

In a People magazine interview marking the 30th anniversary of Home Alone 2, actor Joe Pesci said he suffered serious burns when his burglar character’s head was set on fire. He added that Macaulay Culkin had no sympathy, telling him to get his shine box and get back to work.

ABC Good Morning America co-anchors Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes each left their spouses after rumors surfaced of a months-long affair. Their Good Mornings were allegedly followed by Great Afternoons.

China is set to loosen COVID restrictions following a week of citizen protests, and the Chinese government’s grudging admission that COVID can’t be beaten out of people.

A bloody brawl broke out between fans at the Colorado Avalanche/Winnipeg Jets NHL game in Winnipeg Wednesday night, resulting in two arrests, and three tryout contracts for the fighters.

A Texas attorney was arrested after firing a handgun at his ex-girlfriend in the bar where she worked. He was released after posting $40,000 bond, which was a very light bail for attempted murder, but still pretty expensive for a few shots.

A Puyallup, Washington barber was shot while cutting an 8-year-old’s hair – apparently the 10-year-old who’d just gotten their haircut wasn’t happy with the results.

In Florida, the CEO of an engineering company was arrested in a motel for attacking his girlfriend with her sex toy, bruising her torso. However the girlfriend said the injury happened before the fight, because the guy is really bad at using sex toys.

A former executive at Juul claims the company knowingly shipped one million contaminated mint-flavored vape pods. Juul called the accusation baseless, and that the pods were clearly labeled emphysemamint.

The ISIS spy who gave U.S. forces information on the location of Abu Bakr Al-Bagdadi was an insider.  ISIS is demanding to know the identity of the flute-blower.

President Trump will invite Conan – the U.S. Special Forces canine injured in the Al Baghdadi raid – to the White House. The dog will get to choose between Big Macs, Whoppers or Snausages.

The Washington Nationals won the World Series. No word on an invitation to the White House, but most players have already said it’s kind of out of their way.

The Arena Football League has ceased operations. Players are cleaning out team and league offices which, ironically, pays better than playing in the Arena Football League.

Fast-food restaurants were graded for their overuse – or lack of it – of antibiotics in beef. Chipotle received the only A. Burger King, Sonic and Applebees received Fs – as did Starbucks, who said nobody’s really buying their Prime Rib Capuccino anyway.

United Airlines is debuting a new Star Wars-themed plane in honor of the new film Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Overbooked passengers who refuse to give up their seat can be dragged off the plane by a service droid.

A California middle school apologized for mistakenly printing a sex hotline number instead of a suicide prevention number on student IDs. Although many students admitted the person they called gave them a new reason to live.

Michael Lohan said daughter Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with Saudi crown prince Mohammad bin Salman is “platonic and respectful”, adding that bin Salman has not once contemplated having Lindsay interrogated and dismembered by staffers.

A life-sized Godzilla attraction is opening at a Japanese amusement park. While visitors expressed excitement at seeing Godzilla, they’re disappointed at the roller coasters being repeatedly shut down after Godzilla steps on them.