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A cartoon image of Mötley Crüe vocalist Vince Neil appears in a new children’s book, ‘Heavy Metal Harry’s First Gig’. It’s believed to be the first children’s book where someone gets killed in a drunk driving accident.

Louis C.K. finalized the list of cities for his upcoming standup comedy tour. But you have to wait for him to ask before he’ll show it to you.

United Airlines instructed flight attendants not to utilize the central window shade controls on its Boeing 787 Dreamliners, letting passengers seated next to the windows control the shades. They want window passengers to be able to piss off others in the row with light, in addition to climbing over them to use the bathroom.

Corona will launch a line of hard seltzer this spring, for people who don’t think drinking Corona Beer makes them look like a big enough douche.

Donald Trump complained about South Korean film ‘Parasite’ winning the Best Picture Oscar, before telling a crowd at his rally that he’s detaining Dora The Explorer’s family at the Southern Border.

Pizza Hut’s largest U.S. franchisee, with over 1,200 locations, may declare bankruptcy. They haven’t filed yet, coming to grips with the fact that they’ve been out-pizza’d.

Google updated its Terms Of Service to make them easier to understand. It now reads “We’re Taking Your Personal Information And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It”.

Apple filed a restraining order against a 41-year-old San Francisco man who, they allege, is stalking CEO Tim Cook. Cook is reportedly annoyed that the guy doesn’t just FaceTime him.

Disney/Pixar’s animated film ‘Onward’ introduced Disney’s first openly gay cartoon character, lesbian cop Officer Specter. Rumors say she’ll appear in another upcoming Pixar film, where she’s assigned to desk duty after repeatedly harassing Elastigirl.

A University of California study linking vaping to increased risk of heart attacks has now been called ‘unreliable’.  “Good to know” said vapers on the brink of acute respiratory failure.

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The United States Senate acquitted Donald Trump in his impeachment trial. Trump issued a statement calling the decision a complete and total exoneration of banging Stormy Daniels and that Playmate.

Yum Brands – owner of Taco Bell, KFC & Pizza Hut – warned their 2020 results would be impacted by the Wuhan coronavirus. Yum has also halted the rollout of Stuffed Crust Wolf Lovers pizza, Wolf Chalupas, and Famous Wolf Bowls.

Google Maps is getting a redesign, making it easier to accept faster routes that save you 45 seconds by routing you through unfamiliar crime-riddled streets.

February 6th marks the first day of new federal regulations restricting sales of flavored vape pods and eliminating the marketing of vapes to minors. Disney Channel announced they’ll no longer air the episode ‘Handy Manny’s Mango Juul Break’.

Website BroadbandNow released its annual ranking of states where it’s easiest and hardest to get high-speed internet access for $60/month or less. Hawaii was ranked easiest, Alaska was ranked hardest, and Mississippi didn’t participate because who has $60 to throw around?!

Coca-Cola started aggressive marketing for its new Coke Energy drinks, for people who crave the unmistakable original Coke taste and an irregular heartbeat.

Google filed an application with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office for an operating system it’s calling ‘Pigweed’. The Trump Administration seeks to block it, saying that’s the name they already registered for Nancy Pelosi.

Nike plans a summer 2020 release of its controversial Air Zoom Alphafly NEXT running shoe. The shoe was worn by Kenyan Eliud Kipchoge when he broke the two-hour marathon barrier, and will be worn by thousands hoping to break the ten-minute barrier waiting in line at Starbucks.

After proposing marriage to his dead wife’s maid of honor on the Dr Oz show, Dog the Bounty Hunter celebrated his birthday at Benihana with friends and family. The Asian servers serenaded Dog with ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘No I Don’t Want To Marry You’.

Peloton stock price dropped 12%, as executives reported more Peloton Wives gaining 10% and dropping husbands.