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Violence is plaguing Florida beaches during Spring Break. It’s so bad, entrants in wet t-shirt contests are soaked in blood.

Bianca Censori wore only see-through tights and a tube top to dinner with husband Kanye West at a Los Angeles area Cheesecake Factory. Everyone was able to get a good look because their wait for a table was 75 minutes.

Congress agreed to terms on a deal to fund the federal government through September, avoiding a shutdown. The bill provides money for the continued operation of Homeland Security, but omits $464 million requested by House Republicans to prevent fire sales at Mar a Lago and Trump Tower.

Consumer giant Unilever is spinning off its ice cream business, which includes Ben & Jerry’s, Breyers, & others. The move will result in a 6% reduction in the company’s workforce, although they’ll offer severance and outplacement for unemployed cows.

A antitrust settlement is expected to drastically lower commissions for U.S. realtors, who have historically shared 6% of a home’s sale price. Analysts project many realtors will leave the industry for new jobs, leading to a surge in Tupperware parties.

Viral video captured a Florida road rage incident where one trucker was seen firing a gun at another trucker. The shooter was arrested, and the big ol’ convoy broke up.

Actor Ewan McGregor said it was necessary to use an on-set “intimacy coordinator” during sex scenes he recently filmed with his wife Mary Elizabeth Winstead for a tv series. He added it’s just a coincidence that the coordinator was naked.

Tennis pro Arthur Cazaux fainted during the third set of his match in the Miami Open and was forced to forfeit to Harold Mayot. The heat & humidity were cited as a double fault.

The Bachelor Joey Graziadei asked female contestants at the ‘Women Tell All’ reunion episode if they received hate messages through social media. All of them said they had, most from jealous female viewers, and some from men angry their wives wouldn’t let them watch hockey and basketball games.

A Tennessee woman who ordered clothing from online discount retailer Shein received the clothes, along with a dented can of beans and a vial of human blood. Shein apologized, saying the blood & beans are only included with purchases by Shein Prime customers.

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Apple announced they’re ending development on an autonomous self-driving electric car, which is devastating news to the 13 & Under Division of the United Chinese Auto Workers Association.

AT&T promised to refund $5 for their massive cellular outage last week. Their AT&T customers will see a bill credit; Boost Mobile customers on AT&T’s network asked if they can get the five bucks in their CashApp.

Donald Trump is trying to post a $100 million bond to appeal his $450 million financial fraud judgment, instead of the full judgment amount required by New York law. He said he has the other $350 million, but the banks in Moscow are closed.

Google CEO Sundar Pichai called its Gemini AI blunder – which depicted Asians & Blacks as World War II-era Nazis – “unacceptable”. “Yeah! What HE said!” replied American Nazis.

Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund will sponsor the Men’s ATP Tennis Tour. They wanted to sponsor the Women’s Tour, but players felt they’d trip on the ankle-length skirts.

Mitch McConnell will step down from his role as GOP Leader in the U.S. Senate, in a prepared announcement made by the sign language interpreter, then by McConnell himself a minute later when the words finally traveled from his brain to his mouth.

Monica Lewinsky made her fashion debut in a campaign for L.A.-based work apparel brand Reformation, with one photo captioned ‘Monica F*cking Lewinsky’. Historians are debating whether the f should be an s. R

‘The Sopranos‘ actress Drea De Matteo said joining OnlyFans saved her house from foreclosure and paid off her mortgage “in five minutes” at a time when she had only $10 to her name. Meanwhile, OnlyFans posthumous nudes of Paulie Walnuts haven’t been a real moneymaker.

Actress Busy Philipps said of her role in infamous Wayans Brothers film ‘White Chicks‘ that she was embarrassed at first….and second…and third…and now.

Hip-hop superstar Travis Scott’s Brentwood, California mansion is now resting on a massive hillside crack. He’s concerned, but as his romance with Kylie Jenner would show, he’s also a fan of massive cracks.