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A man who sat next to an obese passenger on a British Airways flight from Bangkok to London is suing the airline, saying that pressure from the seat neighbor caused him pelvic injury and back spasms. The obese man is not identified by name in the complaint, only as ‘Most of Row K’.

According to the Institute for Health Metrics at the University of Washington, deaths attributable to alcohol are rising. From 2007 to 2017, alcohol-related deaths were up 27 percent; and of those, 67 percent were women. Most of their deaths occurred on Winesday. 

Officials in Geneva, Switzerland are refusing to address nuisance and noise complaints from neighbors of a brothel in the town center. They defended the brothel, saying it “fulfills a social need” — adding there was no way they were going to shut it down before their annual Christmas party. 

President Trump visited the scenes of wildfires in California. Trump said that it was “one of the worst fires he’d ever seen, in terms of burning.”

A reward is being offered for information about a dolphin that washed up on a Los Angeles area beach, dead from a gunshot wound. No suspects have been named, although Coast Guard police are interviewing several members of the Dolphin Crips. 

Taco Bell is actively recruiting franchisees in order to meet its goal of opening 2,000 new restaurants by 2023. Prospective owners should have between a half-million and two million dollars in financing, and an extremely low conscience when it comes to inflicting pain upon others. 

Two professional dart players accused each other of farting on stage during the Grand Slam of Darts in England, where Gary Anderson beat Wesley Harms 10-2.  Harms said that Anderson’s farting was awful smelling, and that his dart tosses were disturbed by turbulence. [h/t to LH!]

Retired Dallas Cowboys player Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones commented on the pending gay marriage of former teammate Jeff Rohrer. Jones said if he were asked for a list of five people in the history of the NFL who were gay, Rohrer wouldn’t be on it. Five other teammates are furious for being on the list. 

CEO Jim Brett is leaving J. Crew after less than two years on the job, citing disagreements with the Board of Directors. Like their repeatedly asking him “is that what you’re telling people to wear?”

Apple is reportedly cutting back on factory orders of their newest iPhones. CEO Tim Cook fired back, saying that demand is steady, but assembly workers require longer after-school naps in winter. 

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Matthew Caskey, a UPS driver in Louisville, Kentucky, was charged with DUI and reckless driving after a middle school employee reported him to police. Caskey told cops he’d drank a half-pint of whiskey; in doing so, he answered the question “What can brown liquor do for you?”

The NFL game between the Los Angeles Rams and Kansas City Chiefs has been moved to Los Angeles from its original location at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City. League officials said the turf field was unfit based on overuse, muddy conditions, and unevenness from all of El Chapo’s drug tunnels beneath it.

Facebook said that ‘free speech and privacy’ will inform any return of the platform to China. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked a Chinese official awaiting his sack of money.

Fox News is supporting CNN in its lawsuit against the White House to reinstate press access for CNN’s Jim Acosta. Fox News expressed concern that, if reporters are denied White House access, they may never see what Christmas decorations Melania picks.

In Santa Ana, California, a woman entered a McDonald’s via an employee-only back door, and choked a worker in a fight after asking for ketchup. It’s unclear if the woman was upset over not getting ketchup, or getting regular instead of Fancy Ketchup.

In rural Kentucky, a dead-heat city council election was to be decided by a coin toss — just as soon as they could find some MILLIONAIRE in rural Kentucky who has coin-flippin’ money just lyin’ around.

Oprah Winfrey released her annual “Oprah’s Favorite Things” list. You can find everything on it yourself, except for Black Governors of Southern U.S. States.

State officials are concerned that California energy utility PG&E may be at fault for one or more of the devastating wildfires in the state. Evidence is mounting, including the company’s decision to change its name to Pacific Gas Electric & Fire.

President Trump claimed in an interview with The Daily Caller that Florida Democrats were voting, then putting on disguises and voting again. Without citing evidence, he added that polling places were handing out I Voted stickers and funny nose glasses.

Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Jeff Rohrer has come out as gay. He waited over 25 years to announce it publicly, but said his original plan was to come out once he knew he didn’t have any more road games in Philadelphia.