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Extended drought lowered the level of Nevada’s Lake Mead, to the point where it revealed a sunken World War II-era Higgins Boat used to carry personnel for sea-to-land invasions. In addition to the boat, researchers found a terrible set of directions to Normandy Beach.

A woman in Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum said she interrupted her husband’s online livestream after coming home to find their 7-month-old unfed and with a full diaper. She claimed their baby had livestreamed her pants at least an hour earlier.

KLM Airlines told passengers at Amsterdam’s airport their systems broke and they wouldn’t accept any checked bags. Bathroom lines were a quarter-mile long as smugglers frantically moved all the drugs they could from suitcases to their rectums.

Baywatch star Donna D’Errico clapped back at women who said she’s too old to post Instagram photos in a bikini at age 54. Supporters came to her aid, including a horny David “Mitch Buchannon” Hasselhoff, who sang “I’ll be there” as he rang her doorbell.

Donald Trump reportedly watched the January 6th riots on tv for 187 consecutive minutes. The January 6th Commission called it a dereliction of duty, and the longest tv program to hold his attention since the Miss Teen USA Pageant.

A 20-person brawl between two groups erupted at Disney World after a disagreement about line-cutting. Disney Cast Member personnel finall broke it up after two princesses and Wizard Mickey failed to stop it with magic spells.

A teacher went viral on Tik Tok for saying he left his $43,000/yr teaching job to make $65-70,000 as a Walmart manager by “not using his degree”. That, and he gets to steal a lot cooler stuff than just school supplies.

Bruce Springsteen fans are outraged by Ticketmaster’s ‘dynamic pricing’ of tickets to his 2023 tour as high as $5,000 each. They’re even angrier at dynamic ‘You Might Also Like’ suggestions of John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band tickets for $5 each.

Qantas Airlines booked a couple’s 13-month-old baby on a separate flight from Europe to Thailand as they tried to make their way home to Australia. The baby was cool with it since the parents were angry and he was looking forward to breast-feeding from somebody new.

A woman who has sex with her husband on Only Fans had trouble keeping up with her husband’s libido, so she spent $1,800 on a lookalike sex doll. She’s glad her husband has sex with the doll, but angry that the new Only Fans he started with the doll makes more money.

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Major League Baseball’s all-time hits leader Pete Rose turned 80. Instead of ‘Charlie Hustle’, now they call him ‘Charlie Walker’.

Disney Parks will allow ‘cast members’ to have visible tattoos, multiple earrings and gender inclusive hairstyles. Cruella de Vil got a butch cut, and Donald Duck shed feathers to reveal the Daisy tattoo on his lower abdomen.

Joe Biden announced a full U.S. troop withdrawal from Afghanistan on September 11th. The Taliban & other extremists are looking forward to the U.S. Armed Forces Tent Sale on bazooka & automatic rifles that starts September 4th.

Disgraced financier & Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff died in prison. Madoff promised to donate his organs to 50 different people.

Justin Bieber said in a new interview that his drug use was so bad, his bodyguards would check his pulse when he slept. The bodyguards would be relieved he was alive, and more relieved that he wasn’t singing.

Mexico promised increased efforts to tighten security on the southern U.S. border to stem the tide of illegal immigrants. So they hung over 100 ‘No Trespassing – Private Property’ signs on the wall.

Hayley Hasselhoff – daughter of ‘Baywatch’ star David – made history as Playboy’s first-ever plus-size cover model. Specifically, plus-size-besides-just-the-bra.

Darius, the world’s longest rabbit at 4 ft, 3 inches, was stolen from a home in England. His owner is offering a 1,000-pound reward for Darius’ safe return, and will even throw in one of his feet for good luck.

Experts recommend Facebook cancel its plans to launch ‘Instagram for Kids’. However, Kim Kardashian is demanding they go ahead with it, so her 2 and 3 year olds can become pull-up diaper influencers.

A Colorado district moved school start times back to 8:30 a.m., resulting in 45 minutes additional sleep time for students, according to a new study. This is in addition to the 50 minutes additional sleep each student got in health class.