James Pfaus, a researcher writing in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, identified the three types of female orgasms, which he calls a ‘wave’; an ‘avalanche’; and a ‘volcano’. His female lab assistant claims that there’s a fourth: the ‘real one’.

Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman shared a back-to-school photo of her octuplets starting eighth grade. They’re hoping this is the year they learn about birth control in health class.

Disney Plus reportedly banned an episode of popular Australian animated kids show ‘Bluey‘ because it depicted dog characters farting. Disney Plus execs also deleted a farting scene showing severe concussions to co-workers of She-Hulk: Attorney At Law.

New Zealand police are investigating after children’s remains were found in suitcases purchased at an online auction. The suitcases also contained a note written by an adult excited about saving money on airfare for a family trip to Hawaii.

Mariah Carey filed documents with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office to own the title ‘Queen Of Christmas’. Opponents are demanding a public hearing, mainly to see if Mrs. Claus shows up.

Kanye West angrily defended his Yeezy clothing collaboration with Gap, which requires shoppers to go through bags on the floor stuffed with the clothes to find their size. West said it’s the only way to ensure women bend over while shopping.

A new study finds podcast listening among Latino Americans has slowed post-pandemic, with many disappointed in the lack of Spanish-language content. In other news, Spotify announced the premiere of the Senor Jose Rogano Experiencia.

Famous basketball announcer Dick Vitale announced that he’s now cancer-free; although in true Vitale fashion it took him five minutes of non-stop talking to say so.

Four teenagers were shot at a birthday party in North Philadelphia. They told investigators they began to worry when the pinata broke open and bullets fell out.

Two men died in Florida after eating oysters tainted with vibrio bacteria. Said the restaurant owner: “shucks”.

A Seventh Day Adventist Pastor in The Bronx told parishioners women must submit to their husbands, and told husbands “the best person to rape is your wife”. Those in attendance questioned the need for a sermon at the kickoff for the church’s Holiday Bake Sale.

Philadelphia, which is approaching 500 homicide deaths in 2021, is calling for a Homicide Free Thanksgiving. But they promise to make it up to residents with an upcoming ’12 Days Of Homicide’ Christmas promotion.

Kyle Rittenhouse visited Donald Trump at Mar-A-Lago, but said if he wanted to eat Big Macs and watch Fox News, he could have just stayed home.

A 45-year-old man in Moradabad, India – declared dead after being hit by a motorcycle – was found alive after 7 hours in a morgue freezer. He was listed in critical condition following treatment on ‘defrost’ in a morgue microwave.

Apple delayed the rollout of its ‘Digital Drivers License’ feature – where you can add your license to Apple Wallet – until “early 2022”. On the bright side, teenagers can use Apple’s new ‘Digital Fake ID’ feature immediately.

Rolls-Royce claims to have developed the world’s fastest all-electric aircraft, reaching over 387 mph before crashing into a Tesla recharging station at an A-Plus Mini-Mart.

Scientists were stunned to find a 10,000-year-old mammoth tusk at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, adding that the tusk was incredibly well-preserved, as was the note telling the mammoth it failed its junior lifeguard exam.

A bizarre species of tropical bees, known as “vulture bees”, forego pollen and eat meat from dead animal carcasses instead. Vulture bees were discovered when South American beekeepers opened hives and found Slim Jims instead of honey.

Dick Vitale returned to courtside for ESPN, calling the NCAA basketball game between Gonzaga and UCLA while he continues treatment for lymphoma. Vitale cried when he was introduced, causing millions of viewers to temporarily unmute their TVs.

Steve Burton, 51, an actor on ‘General Hospital’ for the last 30 years, was fired for refusing to get COVID-19 vaccines, and that he’d take his chances at Actual Hospital.