By |

Archaeologists are studying the remains of the oldest dog found on the American continent. But they still haven’t been able to remove the knotted-up rope from its mouth.

The U.S. Postal Service shared photos of its new, gas-&-electric-powered mail trucks. They’re scheduled to be on the road in 2023, so look for them in 2025.

Discovery Channel is airing a new documentary ‘Attack of the Murder Hornets’ about the killer insects. Meanwhile, rival network TLC is airing ‘My 6 Ounce Life’ about an obese murder hornet desperate to lose weight.

Health officials identified a new California strain of coronavirus. They say it’s deadly, but may be weakened with bread because it’s reeeeally trying to cut out gluten.

Two Australians were incorrectly injected with the COVID-19 vaccine. The nurse pushed the needle all the way through her thumb.

Chicago, Illinois State Representative Marcus C. Evans introduced a bill to ban violent videogames like ‘Grand Theft Auto’ in response to a rise in real-life carjackings. He also wants to remove barrels from the gorilla enclosure at the Chicago Zoo.

An Oklahoma veterinarian shared a photo of Skipper, a shepherd/border collie mix with six legs. The dog was rescued from an Oklahoma farmer who thought it was a really big spider.

An American Airlines pilot reported a “large, cylindrical object” flying over his jet at 35,000 feet en route from Kentucky to Arizona. He then finished off the bourbon bottle and landed in Phoenix.

A homeless malnourished sheep found wandering in rural Australia was rescued and shorn of over 77 pounds of wool. Its condition was upgraded to ‘stable, but cold’.

Facing a steep population decline, Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orban is spending huge sums of money to encourage women to have babies – starting with the intern he just hired.

By |

The zoo featured in Netflix series ‘Tiger King’ has been permanently closed. The tigers wish it were done sooner so they could have collected $600/week unemployment benefits.

Apple’s value has doubled in the past two years, from $1 trillion in $2 trillion dollars. Thanks to profit sharing, teenage assembly workers are now on track for early retirement at age 80.

Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers say she’s being monitored by prison psychologists for several hours a day without her knowledge. For their part, the psychologists say she’s getting pretty good at tying knots.

The Zoom videoconferencing app is coming to Facebook Portal, so the five people who bought one can chat with one another.

Google is testing the 6GHz spectrum in 17 states. In addition to the existing 2.4GHz and 5GHz spectrum, it’s expected to give households a third wifi network option that they don’t know how to set up.

The creator of MyPillow, Mike Lindell, is claiming oleandrin – a toxic floral compound – could treat coronavirus. Better still, if the FDA approves it, they’ll get a second oleandrin sample for free.

Discovery channel will air a three-part series, ‘Growing Belushi’, highlighting actor Jim Belushi’s legal cannabis farm in Oregon. So tune in if you’re looking for one of the few reasons not to like legal cannabis.

Donald & Melania Trump’s absentee ballots in Florida’s primary election were collected – all ten of them.

The Food & Drug Administration is launching a “substantive review” of Juul e-cigarettes. To complete it, they’ve requested permission to temporarily hire a bunch of cool kids.

A couple was caught having sex during a Zoom board meeting of Rio de Janeiro school counselors. The remaining participants fought about whether or not the sex should be on mute.

By |

Michael Phelps lost his race with a great white shark during an event to kick off Discovery Channel Shark Week. The result is not yet official, since the shark has yet to submit a urine sample.

  • Phelps told Jimmy Fallon he wished he could have swam in the open water instead of a protective cage. The shark agreed.

An alligator was spotted and captured swimming near a pier in Miami Beach. Alligators are fresh water creatures, but experts assume it left for the beach because there are more people to eat there.

Donald Trump dedicated the newest naval aircraft carrier, the USS Gerald Ford. Somehow the aircraft carrier received a 35% approval rating in a Washington Post poll.

Reports say Trump has been consulting his legal experts regarding the extent of his Presidential power to pardon. Given the number of family and staff under Federal investigation, “A Thousand Pardons” may go from being an Asian cliche to being Trump’s exit strategy.

Chris Froome won his 3rd consecutive Tour de France. Froome said his title effort took a lot of tainted blood, tainted sweat & tainted tears.

The Department of Labor ordered Wells Fargo Bank to rehire a manager who acted as whistleblower in the company’s fake account scandal, and to pay her $577,500 in back wages. Wells Fargo plans to appeal the ruling and will place the money in six checking accounts that she never asked for.

The robbery of a Fresno CA Starbucks by a man wearing a Transformers mask was foiled when a customer hit him over the head with a chair. The Decepticon was captured and the hero transformed back in to a cappuccino machine.

A Detroit real estate company ad sparked outrage. The Bedrock Detroit outdoor ad with the slogan “See Detroit Like We Do” depicted mostly white people, despite the City of Detroit being 82% black. The ad was removed, and still nobody is all that interested in seeing Detroit.

The Estate of Albert Einstein corrected an Ivanka Trump tweet, which incorrectly attributed a quote “If the facts don’t support the theory, change the facts” to Einstein, even though he never said it. Ivanka replied “there you go, changing the facts.”

Snooty, the world’s oldest manatee in captivity, died just days after his 69th birthday – as the nationwide opioid epidemic claims yet another victim.

Warner Bros and DC Comics announced a Wonder Woman sequel at San Diego Comic Con, after meeting Diana Prince’s demands to be paid ‘Bruce Wayne money’.