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A Philadelphia International Airport terminal was shut down by catering workers striking for better wages and health care. They expect the public’s enthusiastic support because everybody loves airline food.

A new Cleveland Clinic study offers definitive proof of lung damage from vaping, and overall damage from living in Cleveland.

Two passengers and their emotional support dogs were kicked off of a Norwegian Air flight after crew said the dogs showed signs of distress – specifically, piles of distress.

A study published in Nature documents what happens to the body when people stop eating meat. Subjects showed an increase in beneficial gut bacteria, and a decrease in whatever e.Coli is shutting down a Chipotle that week.

Fox Business Channel Stuart Varney spoke to the CEO of WD-40, who said that WD-40 stands for “water displacement, 40th formula.” Varney replied “how the hell did this guy get on the show?”

Facebook is launching Facebook News, which is expected to contribute tens of millions of dollars to the Russian economy.

A bear pushing a wheelbarrow attacked his handler during a performance in a Russian traveling circus. The bear was subdued but not killed, and has been assigned a career coach to guide him in better ways to ask for a raise.

Brett Favre told sports journalist Peter King he thinks he might’ve played in the NFL too long, adding “I think I might’ve played in the NFL too long.”

After being diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism, Dog the Bounty Hunter told Dr. Oz he’s stopped eating “white foods” like sugar, bread and pasta. Dog said he’s struggling, because he doesn’t have the right friends to recommend black foods.

Taylor Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a new song for the film adaptation of ‘Cats’. It’s a lot of mean stuff about a tomcat who breaks it off with a girl cat.

President Trump said he’ll attend a Washington Nationals World Series game if it extends to Game 5. After that, he said he won’t be free until Game 9.

 

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Meghan Markle’s father underwent heart surgery, ruling out his walking her down the aisle at Saturday’s Royal Wedding. But there’s still a small chance he could wheel her down the aisle.

Disney World announced they’re now serving alcohol at every table-service restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. Building on the success of their popular children’s breakfasts with Disney characters, adult men can now pay a fixed price to see if they can get a Princess hammered enough to go home with them.

20th Century Fox named Suzanne Scott its first-ever woman CEO, overseeing channels such as Fox News and Fox Business Network. Scott starts after a two-week suspension she imposed on herself for inappropriately touching the CEO.

President Trump called Scott to congratulate her on having such a nice ass.

The White House announced that President Trump donated his quarterly salary to the Department of Veterans Affairs – this after recently filed ethics forms disclosed he’d donated the prior quarter’s salary to the Department of Porn Star Affairs.

AT&T and Verizon will sell the $1300 RED Hydrogen One smartphone later this year. According to RED, the phone has a display capable of displaying “4-view holographic content.” Now owners of the phone can tell their Tinder hookups ‘you look nothing like your holograph.’

Princess Cruises is introducing the Sky Princess, a new ship that will sail the Caribbean with luxury cabins that accommodate up to five people — and luxury toilets that will let three of them with norovirus vomit at the same time.

Nev Schulman, host of MTV’s ‘Catfish’, is suspended while being investigated on charges of sexual misconduct by women who are, like, totally real and totally, like, not guys.

A Washington state Court of Appeals ruled that crime scene photos from Kurt Cobain’s death will not be released publicly. The decision regarding the photos was welcomed by Cobain’s widow, Courtney Love, who’s excited to start selling them.

According to the April edition of NOAA’s Global Climate Report, Earth has recorded warmer-than-average temperatures for 400 straight months. However, the findings are disputed by your wife standing in front of the thermostat.

Recent tax law changes limiting deductible expenses are causing small businesses to cut back on entertainment outings for clients. Some businesses have stopped taking clients to expensive dinners and sporting events, and are killing the buzz at strip clubs by taking ten minutes to negotiate rates before buying clients’ lap dances.

A Delta Airlines flight crew postponing a takeoff due to a medical emergency asked if a doctor was on board, and were surprised to learn Surgeon General Jerome Adams was on board. Adams tweeted that he successfully treated the patient, which involved telling the ill passenger to stop eating the sandwich Delta gave them.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney hosted a party for city residents 100 years of age or older. 110 centenarians came to the party, and 107 made it until the end.