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Heavy metal contamination of applesauce pouches that led to an FDA recall may have been deliberate. Although workers at the applesauce factory thought something completely different when a worker threatened to give people a belly full of lead.

Parents of students at Norristown High School in suburban Philadelphia are concerned about frequent fistfights at the school. Gym teachers say kids prefer doing that in class to jumping jacks & push-ups.

Guy Fieri said he won’t leave any of his money to his two sons unless they each get two degrees – presumably a bachelor’s and a postgraduate. He quickly added that Master’s degrees from Flavortown University don’t count.

Actor Jonathan Majors was found guilty of misdemeanor assault & harassment for attacking his ex-girlfriend, and was immediately dropped as Kang The Conqueror by Marvel Studios. The court failed to accept Majors defense that his girlfriend was wearing a Captain Marvel costume.

Kelly Clarkson showed off her 50-pound weight loss in a snug top & skirt on her talk show, before singing her hit song ‘Since U Been Gone‘ to a hot fudge sundae.

A U.S. Senate report says U.S. terror watchlists are “too broad” and may violate travelers rights. “You’re telling me” said an Iraqi-American dad who’s failed six times trying to fly his family to Disney World.

A dress worn by Princess Diana sold for a record $1.14 million. Meghan Markle immediately sent Prince Harry back to London to see what else his mother might have left laying around.

NASA used a laser to transmit a cat video 19 million miles to Earth. Hearing the good news, astronauts aboard the International Space Station are taking turns using the laser to transmit their boob & dick pics to Earthbound loved ones.

Disney’s Animal Kingdom in Florida welcomed the first African elephant baby born in the park in 7 years. A GoFundMe was started for the baby elephant so it could afford to eat at Disney.

A volcano erupted in Iceland, sending molten rock 300 feet into the air. “Nope” said Santa Claus, crossing Reykjavik off his travel itinerary.

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Following his conviction on two counts of rape and sexual assault, Harvey Weinstein was taken to prison, but then rushed to a hospital after complaining of chest pains.. and scratchy prison bathrobes ..and a lack of 20-something female guards.

The White House asked Congress for $2.5 billion to fight the COVID-19 coronavirus, but Congress argued China already built a wall.

NASA’s InSight lander has detected a mysterious humming coming from planet Mars, possibly because Uptown Funk was playing on InSight’s satellite radio.

A Florida police officer’s body cam video showed him handcuffing a 6-year-old girl and putting her in a squad car after she threw a tantrum. The officer was fired, and charges against the girl for assault with a fidget spinner were dropped.

Dana Ghazi Mustafa, 27, was arrested following a flight from Frankfurt to Washington DC where she yelled “I’m going to stab everyone on on this plane. Then kill myself. I’m Palestinian! That’s how we get down.” She was reportedly angry that the crew refused to give her a tour of the cockpit.

More than a dozen states have introduced legislation requiring public schools to offer free feminine hygiene products in their bathrooms. Some states are hesitant, saying the move requires additional expense to train gym teachers what they’re for.

Netflix will issue daily lists of the ten most popular shows and movies in almost 100 countries. They’ll issue a separate Top 10 list of the most popular shows for Netflix & Chill.

It’s National Pancake Day and IHOP is offering its customers free pancakes, and a new training course for restaurant managers on how to evict homeless people.

In honor of the Shamrock Shake’s 50th Anniversary, McDonald’s is auctioning a gold & diamond Shamrock Shake cup valued at $90,000 – although the value drops significantly once you put a Shamrock Shake in it because the gold corrodes.

Sleep experts say sleeping on your side is the best position for feeling good the next day, since side-sleep aligns the spine, and turning on your side lets your partner know there’s no way it’s happening tonight.