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Hospitals are gouging families by charging extra for routine childbirth by classifying them as “emergencies”. The families are challenging the bills, saying the newborns should be classified as “accidents”.

Delphi, an artifcial intelligence built to answer ethical questions, is being exposed as racist. Asked to describe ‘a white man walking toward you at night’, Delphi replied “it’s okay”, but said “it’s concerning” when describing a black man approaching. Delphi also wanted to know “what is walking?”

Democrats unveiled a new plan to tax billionaires to pay for a massive infrastructure spending bill. For instance, every time Jeff Bezos drives over the Golden Gate Bridge, it costs $75 million dollars.

Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine was authorized by the FDA for use on children ages 5 through 11. Democrats unveiled a new multi-billion-dollar spending plan to bribe children to get the vaccine with ice cream and video games.

Google releases their new Pixel 6 phones this week, much to the dismay of wives & girlfriends wishing their cheapskate husbands & boyfriends would just get an iPhone.

A toilet tube broke on Space X’s Crew Dragon civilian flight, spraying urine. Donald Trump asked how soon he and several female Russian cosmonauts could book a trip.

Excessive drinking during the pandemic is leading to a surge in liver transplants. Fortunately, excessive drinking & driving during the pandemic is keeping up the supply of available livers.

The Cleveland Clinic is testing a new breast cancer vaccine. However, they caution women to ignore emails requesting pictures of their breasts to see if they qualify.

The CDC added ‘mood disorders’ to the list of high-risk conditions for COVID-19. Women in marriages over 10 years should seek booster shots because they’re rarely in the mood.

A brawl erupted at a dog show for ‘bully breeds’ , with multiple men & women engaged in fistfights and chair throwing. The melee delayed the start of the show, which featured pit bulls dodging chairs & punches to maul men & women.

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Firefighters battling California’s Dixie wildfire report some property owners pointing guns at them as they try to rescue them from the approaching flames. Firefighters also didn’t know the Bloods and Crips own clubhouses near the fire.

The National Labor Relations Board reaffirmed the right of unions to put Scabby, the giant inflatable rat, in front of businesses using non-union labor. Local health departments will, however, still oppose giant non-inflatable rats inside of restaurants.

The U.S. Senate is set to approve a massive $1.2 trillion infrastructure bill, which is estimated to be enough money to repair one-third of the potholes in and around Philadelphia.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott is asking hospitals to halt non-urgent procedures as COVID-19 cases soar in the state – risking an untimely halt to Texas’ massive cheerleader boob job industry before the start of football season.

Blake Moynes got engaged to The Bachelorette Katie Thurston on the show’s season finale, after Thurston ended a romance with another contestant, Justin Glaze, and a third contestant, Greg Grippo, quit. The couple are reportedly still engaged, at least until Thurston can track down one of the other two guys.

Fox Network’s Fantasy Island reboot premieres tonight, as Donald Trump demands to know how he can get on the show.

Harrison Ford vacationed in Croatia as he recovers from an injury suffered on the set of Indiana Jones and the Last Joint Replacement.

Twitter suspended Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene for spreading misinformation about vaccines. She’ll be reinstated in a week so she can resume spreading misinformation about vaccines.

Jeopardy! Executive Producer Mike Richards, a frontrunner to become permanent host, allegedly has a history of sexual harassment and poor workplace behavior. He admits he’s stronger in some categories and weaker in others.

Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney is selling an NFT of her “Not Impressed” meme-face from her silver medal ceremony in 2012. It could sell for a 5-figure price, then be shown off by its owner to people making the Not Impressed face.