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81-year-old Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been ordered to take a paternity test to determine if he fathered a child with a 27-year-old woman. If he is determined to be the father, Jones becomes eligible for NFL Comeback Playa’ of the Year.

The Philadelphia Phillies ended their popular Dollar Dog Nights, after fans used the cheap dogs to start food fights. They’re replacing it with BOGO Dog Night, so fans can buy two hot dogs, eat one, and throw the second one at Mets fans.

ChatGPT is being used by job seekers to generate questions for mock job interviews. However, ChatGPT is frustrating some candidates by skipping the questions and telling them “don’t bother, I already got the job”.

Los Angeles Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani surprised the team by announcing he got married. Ohtani underwent elbow surgery and won’t pitch this season, but is still happy to have an everyday catcher.

A new supplement called ‘LeapYears’ reverses age-related physical & cognitive decline in dogs. A study compared a small group of older dogs who took the supplement, to hundreds of other dogs who found the pill in the rolled-up ham and spit it out.

Holsten’s ice cream parlor in New Jersey is selling the booth used by Tony Soprano’s family in ‘The Sopranos’ final scene. Bidding currently tops $30,000, and the hgh bidder’s payment can be made behind the building with cash stuffed into a sealed yellow envelope.

Heritage Store brand hydrogen peroxide mouthwash is being recalled for a lack of child-safe packaging. Parents are urged to call 911 if they find their toddler passed out with really fresh-smelling breath.

A Texas woman shared via Instagram the one question she asks hiring managers that she claims results in job offers “100% of the time” after the interview: ‘what does excellence look like in this role?’. Of course, the managers reply “really clean toilets”.

Wildlife journal Marine Mammal Science published never-before-seen photos of two male humpback whales having sex. And less provocative photos taken at the same time of their wives dropping their calves off at day care.

A dermatologist is recommending diaper rash cream to hydrate the face. But to still apply your baby’s diaper rash cream with your hands, not your face.

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Rappers Snoop Dogg and Master P sued Walmart for breaching a deal to sell their breakfast cereal. Walmart countered, saying kids don’t want to smoke cereal for breakfast.

Apple is reportedly working on a foldable iPhone, and will begin selling it once they figure out how to make the screen break when it’s folded closed and dropped.

A Florida mom said her kids were expelled from a Catholic School because she advertised her OnlyFans page with a decal on her car. The school said she’s promoting pornography, and stealing traffic from the OnlyFans pages of priests & altar boys raising money for the school.

Google is changing the name of its artificial intelligence assistant from Bard to Gemini, and launching a paid subscription Gemini app. College students now have to figure out how to pay Gemini with Adderall and beer when it writes their term papers.

A volcano in Iceland erupted for the second time this year, sending molten lava 260 feet in the air. Iceland’s Tourism Board called the eruption “not great for our name brand”.

Scientists in England set a record by creating a nuclear fusion reaction for 5 seconds. They see it as a huge step forward in the pursuit of limitless clean energy, but a disappointment since none of them turned into The Hulk.

A hiring expert claims only half of job candidates have questions ready for interviewers when asked “Is there anything you’d like to ask me?” They advise asking about the role, coworkers & company, and not “Are those real?”

Trader Joe’s recalled frozen ‘chicken, lentil & caramelized onion pilaf’ because it may contain rocks. The FDA has launched a broader investigation to the safety protocols of supplier Flintstone Foods.

Taylor Swift released the track list for her new album, ‘The Tortured Poets Department’, and Swifties speculate some are about her breakup with British actor Joe Alwyn, including ‘So Long, London’; ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” and ‘Joe Alwyn Has A Puny Dick And I’m Glad To Be Banging A Huge NFL Player’.

Finland’s flagship airline Finnair will begin weighing passengers in addition to luggage for what they call “balance calculations” for enhanced safety, and what they call “improved traction” for seating heavier passengers above the wheels.

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The first person-to-person transmission of the Wuhan coronavirus in the U.S. has been confirmed. It’s when the first newly-opened-iPhone-to-person transmission is confirmed that things will really get crazy.

Republican Senators are expected to block witness testimony in the Impeachment Trial of Donald Trump and move to a fast acquittal. 75% of Americans polled want witness testimony, which means they really must dislike the Senate if they want to keep them on jury duty.

World Athletics, the governing body of track & field sports, imposed an immediate ban on any shoe with a sole thicker than 40 millimeters. So, your grandmother’s plan to enter the Olympic marathon trial in her Skechers is effectively ended.

Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli listed their Bel-Air home for sale at $28 million. It’s 12,000 square feet, with 6 bedrooms, 9 baths and a pretty famous rowing machine.

Forbes magazine advises job-seekers that the two things you should never wear to a hiring interview are strong cologne and poor-fitting clothes. Although they say you can wear whatever you want to an exit interview.

While fruit-flavored cartridges in refillable vaping devices like Juul are now illegal, a loophole allows disposable e*cigarette companies like Puff Bar to sell flavors like mango and banana. Worse, the discarded Puff Bars are causing vape lung in sea turtles.

TMZ shared viral video from Las Vegas, where a woman in costume removed her Minnie Mouse head and pummeled a security guard. A costumed Mickey Mouse stood nearby, where onlookers described him as “oddly turned on”.

Delta announced they’re suspending flights to China starting February 6th. On February 7th, they begin limited-time SkyMiles offers on round trip flights to China booked and completed in February!

Victims of the 2015 Ashley Madison affair-dating website data breach are being blackmailed five years later. Most admitted they thought they’d be more excited when an old flame got in touch.

The FCC has committed $20.4 billion to bring high-speed internet to rural America. Farmers are excited to finally be able to stream Spotify to bored cows.