New research from Japan suggests dogs eyes can well up with tears of joy when reunited with their owners. Then the cat makes fun of them.

More details are emerging regarding Gary Busey’s sex assault charges at Monster Mania in New Jersey. Busey allegedly grabbed two women’s buttocks and tried to unhook a bra. Busey is likely banned at future Monster Mania conventions, but is now invited to several Trump Rallys.

Former Playmates say Hugh Hefner encouraged them to have risky, unprotected sex with him. Sex was unprotected because he didn’t use a condom, and risky because he turned off his pacemaker.

Tesla raised the price of Full Self Driving software in its cars to $15,000. Which sounds expensive, but it comes with 10 downloadable movies to watch and a sex swing for the backseat.

Apple will let you repair certain Macbook laptops yourself starting Tuesday. Then, starting Wednesday, you can see if someone else can fix the damage you did.

Viral video shows a woman performing oral sex on a man in the outfield upper deck during an Oakland A’s baseball game. Despite sitting 500 feet from home plate, she was still struck by foul balls.

Meghan Markle said on a podcast that her baby Archie’s nursery caught fire while she was away giving a speech in South Africa. Archie was okay, and has since quit smoking.

Fans of HBO’s new Game of Thrones prequel ‘House Of The Dragon’ are angry at a scene where a man forces a woman to have a c-section, killing her. They say the scene isn’t faithful to the original books, because it takes place in Texas in 2022.

The car and body of missing California teen Kiely Rodny was found in 35 minutes by dive team Adventures With Purpose, after local cops say they spent 20,000 man hours searching the same lake. Adventures With Purpose said they were more successful because they actually went in the water.

Residents of Mexico City say it’s being gentrified by American expatriates moving there to work remotely and avoid the costs of big cities like New York or Los Angeles. They also blame the $50,000 hiring bonuses being offered by the Sinaloa drug cartel.

A barbell loaded with 400 pounds of weight crushed the neck of a woman at a gym in Mexico City, killing her. “You got this!” said the world’s worst bench-press spotter.

Elon Musk’s SpaceX/Starlink Satellite Internet service will provide broadband to war-torn Ukraine, so soldiers defending the country can still watch porn.

$2.9 million worth of meth disguised as onions was seized by cops in California. In other news, organizers cancelled the West Virginia Onion Festival.

Target recalled beaded baby teething toys because they pose a choking hazard, unless your baby has strong enough teeth to chew the beads and eat them.

Last night the SAG Awards were held in Hollywood, with a Lifetime Achievement SAG Award given to Meryl Streep’s tits.

Astronomers discovered two ‘supermassive’ black holes spiraling toward each other in what’s being described as a ‘cataclysmic’ collision, and the worst-ever black-on-black violence in the galaxy.

New research finds teens who smoked during adolescence age faster than their peers as adults, although their peers also refer to them as “that cool-looking older dude”.

NASA’s Mars Curiosity Rover captured a photo of a mineral formation that looks like a flower. When it returned the next day it was gone, plucked by a martian who forgot his wedding anniversary.

Instagram influencer Paige Lorenze dumped country singer Morgan Wallen after accusing him of cheating on her. For his part, Wallen’s spokesperson said he’s “focused on being a dad” of his 1-year-old son, and on “probably being a dad again” with different women who show up at his concerts.

The iPhone SE’s price may drop as low as $199 after Apple updates in lineup in March. At $199, it could become the first iPhone that costs less to buy new than to fix its inevitable broken screen.