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Japanese marketing firm Piala announced it will give employees six more paid days off if they quit smoking. Non-smokers are busily taking up the habit so they can quit in time for summer vacation.

NYC terror suspect Sayfullo Saipov was charged while in his hospital bed, and told prosecutors he wanted an ISIS flag to hang in his hospital room. Police became even angrier when they found ISIS flags for sale in the hospital’s gift shop.

Newly single Selena Gomez sparked rumors when she attended a rec league hockey game featuring her ex, Justin Bieber. After the game, Gomez left in Bieber’s car wearing his game jersey. Later on, Gomez was called for holding; Bieber for high sticking.

The head of NPR’s news division, Michael Oreskes, has resigned amid sexual harassment allegations. Several current and former staffers have come forward to describe Oreskes’ unwelcome sexual advances, made in between jazz saxophone riffs and uncomfortably long silences.

Kevin Spacey’s acting tutorial was removed from online instructional hub MasterClass, replaced by a GIF reading ‘Do This’, followed by a balding gay guy rolling his eyes and looking smug.

Oprah Winfrey released her annual holiday list of Favorite Things in O – The Oprah Magazine. At 102 items long, it’s her biggest list ever. Readers added their own 103rd Favorite Thing – the gift receipt to return the stuff on the list.

President Trump declared Saipov an animal, calling for his execution and saying the criminal justice system was a ‘joke’ and a ‘laughingstock’. His sentiments were privately echoed by Robert Mueller, who said he should have been done removing Trump months ago.

North Korean state news shared video of Kim Jong Un touring a cosmetics factory along with his wife Ri Sol Ju. North Korea’s first lady was there to get some new makeup for their upcoming date night at the nuclear missile silo.

Modern Family actress Sarah Hyland responded to a fan on Twitter confirming that her character Haley Dunphy is bisexual. Show producers haven’t responded, but did confirm an upcoming episode where Haley shops for a Mini Cooper.

A 48-year-old woman and 28-year-old man engaged in a sex act on a Delta flight will likely face fines, not jail or other penalties. Passengers complained that the woman performing oral sex on the man was distracting them while they tried to watch porn on their tablets.

 

 

 

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Mary McDonough, who portrayed Erin on CBS series The Waltons, talked to Fox News about complications she experienced from breast enhancement surgery.  McDonough said if she could do it over again, she’d have had the work done at Ike Godsey’s General Store instead of her father’s sawmill.

Sony Electronics introduced a revamped version of Aibo, its robotic pet dog. The updated dog responds to praise and understands what actions makes owners happy – for instance, it will hump a woman’s leg, but only after listening to her talk about her job and family for an hour.

President Trump will seek to terminate the Diversity Visa program that allowed NYC terror suspect Sayfullo Saipov in to the U.S., but said Trump Hotels will still give triple points for Diversity Amex holders.

  • Lawmakers said Saipov was radicalized domestically online, and as a result still owed $20k in loans to Strayer University.
  • Trump said he’d ordered Homeland Security to tighten its extreme vetting process. A spokesperson for Home Depot said the guy had the $19 and a drivers license, so there wasn’t much more vetting they could do.

Walmart announced that their 4,700 stores will host Holiday Parties during the Xmas shopping season, sending Amazon’s stock price to another record high.

  • The parties will feature Selfies With Santa, shopping assistance from Holiday Helpers, and Grief Counseling.

Amazon has rolled out its Black Friday deals using augmented reality, after hearing from consumers who said they preferred to shop in a reality where they have money, jobs, and a different President.

Obamacare open enrollment begins, accompanied by rate increases so severe that customers are asking if poverty qualifies as a preexisting condition.

Papa John’s founder & CEO John Schnatter, on a disappointing earnings call, placed some blame for slower sales on their NFL sponsorship and the league’s poor handling of anthem protests. “We no longer want to be associated with a product that makes so many people sick” said the NFL.

More accusers have come forward to accuse Harvey Weinstein, James Toback and Kevin Spacey of sexual misconduct – to the point where A-List actors are reading Tyler Perry scripts because they’re running out of safe spaces.