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Spirit Airlines put an unaccompanied 6-year-old on the wrong flight out of Philadelphia. Spirit announced they’re discontinuing their ‘Home Alone: Lost In Orlando’ fare sale.

For his part, the 6-year-old told Florida State Police he was just happy to be out of Philadelphia.

General Motors announced the Cadillac Celestiq – a hand-built fully-electric vehicle costing $300,000, made to appeal to environmentally-conscious pimps.

Russian opposition leader Aleksei Navalny wrote a letter saying he’d been moved to a penal colony in Siberia. He said he’s given one daily hour of outdoor recreation, followed by four hours of treatment for frostbite.

Beyonce’s former childhood home in Houston suffered minor fire damage on Christmas morning. The fire was quickly extinguished by members of Color Me Badd working their new jobs.

Microsoft launched its Copilot AI app for Android phones, just in time for Arizona State students to ask it to write their spring semester term papers.

Donald Trump posted Christmas messages to social media, telling his opponents to “ROT IN HELL”. Coincidentally, ROTINHELL is also the discount code for tickets to the Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve party.

A same-sex nativity scene in Italy, depicting the baby Jesus with two mothers, was slammed as ‘blasphemous’ by the same people who would have you believe one of the women got knocked up without having sex at all.

A new study evalutes the viability of launching a nuclear explosive “millions of miles” into space to prevent an asteroid from striking Earth. People living near the SpaceX launch site just want time to get the hell out of town in case things go sideways.

Sonja Semyonova, a Canadian woman, calls herself an ‘ecosexual’ and claims to be in love with an oak tree. “Me too” said a Canadian guy standing next to a knothole on the other side of the tree.

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AMC Theatres will charge a higher ticket price to see popular films, starting with ‘The Batman’. They decided on this money-making approach after rejecting an idea to make people pay for ‘The Bathroom‘.

Exonerated Central Park 5 defendant Raymond Santana Jr is divorcing his wife of 20 months, Flavor Of Love contestant Chandra ‘Deelishis’ Davis, claiming what was once Deelishis is now Spoyyldd.

A Tennessee woman will serve a two-year sentence for passing a balloon filled with drugs to a male Pennsylvania inmate during an open-mouth kiss. Guards thought the balloon was her tongue, but then noticed Happy Birthday Leon printed on it.

The popularity of Pickleball is leading to angry confrontations with homeowners who live near parks, saying the sport makes too much noise. They cite the pop of the ball hitting the paddle, and the ambulances and screams after senior heart attacks.

Harvey Weinstein was caught with contraband Milk Duds in his prison cell. Surveillance video captured Weinstein exposing his genitals to the candy, asking if it wanted to be in a movie.

A new study claims resistance/weight training is better for sleep than cardio. Doctors suggest an easy way to weight train is to let your overweight partner get on top.

Microsoft will discontinue the sale of new products and services in Russia, but will continue its repair program for Siberia’s most popular portable music player, Zune.

Twitter is expanding Birdwatch, a user-generated fact-checking program, but promised the user experience will still be dominated by lousy jokes, cat pictures and partisan politics.

NASA invited Americans to submit their names for addition to a drive that will circle the Moon in an upcoming Artemis mission. However, NASA also said they’ll no longer accept submissions from Mike Hunt, Luke Likesheet, Barry McCockiner and others.

Actor Jason Momoa said his separation from Lisa Bonet is “hard enough” in the public eye – but that freedom to hook up with dozens of younger chicks in private is “not that hard”.

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A Russian research team unearthed the fossilized remains of a 10-ton, 17-foot-long sea cow on a Siberian beach. Experts believe the sea cow wanted to spend time at the beach, but needed to go to Siberia to avoid crowds & body-shaming.

Thanksgiving night fights forced officials to shut down the Riverchase Galleria Mall in Birmingham, Alabama, as fathers of teenage girls sought to protect them from Roy Moore.

GOBankingRates released a list of the 15 most affordable states for Millennials to buy homes. Topping the list? West Virginia – where it’s estimated that a home can be bought after just two-and-a-half years of selling meth.

DamToys is selling a 12-inch Steve Jobs figurine for nearly $200. It berates other nearby action figures and comes with 10 accessories, none of which is a daughter that the figurine refuses to acknowledge.

President Trump tweeted on Friday that he was heading to Trump National Golf Club to “play golf (quickly) with Tiger Woods and Dustin Johnson.” ‘Quickly’ means he’ll quit when they won’t let him win.

A Swedish power plant near Stockholm that uses recycled materials as fuel is burning unsold clothing from fast-fashion chain H&M; the company that owns the plant is hiring hundreds of mean girls to follow classmates around telling them to ‘burn that outfit’.

Following a second accuser’s claim that he grabbed her buttocks during a photo at the Minnesota State Fair, Senator Al Franken issued a new apology, and verified that he’s banned from the livestock exhibit at this year’s fair.

Oprah Winfrey shared her lavish Thanksgiving dinner spread on Instagram, including four 22-pound turkeys for her and her guests. Winfrey, a Weight Watchers spokesperson, declined to say how many Weight Watchers points she consumed, but was photographed with her food diary and a scientific calculator.

Michael Flynn is no longer sharing information regarding the Russia investigation with President Trump’s lawyers, leading observers to believe Special Investigator Robert Mueller has “flipped” Mueller to testify against The President. Sensing an opportunity, Russian President Vladimir Putin has offered to let Flynn use his Safe House.

Duchess Kate Middleton – pregnant with her third child – went off-roading with her husband, Prince William, at the Jaguar/Land Rover factory in England. “Off-roading” in this case meaning using Parent With Toddler parking instead of valet.