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Peacock network debuted ‘Queer Planet’, a documentary exploring alternate sexual relationships in the animal kingdom. One of the featured couples is a lion ‘bromance’, which causes a less-than-Happy Pride.

Rapper 50 Cent visited Capitol Hill to lobby for greater representation in the liquor & spirits industry among persons of color, b*tches, and hos.

Donald Trump will meet for a probation interview following his felony conviction. His probation officer will advise him to keep his nose clean – or, at least no more orange than the rest of his face.

A bull at an Oregon rodeo hopped a fence and injured four spectators before being captured. The rodeo was halted, and the bull promised to return to restart the rodeo with him leading, 4-0.

Users of hair-loss prevention drug finasteride are being warned of impotence as a side effect. Hair Club For Men is considering a name change to Hair & Strictly Platonic Dating Club For Men.

A kite surfer stranded on a California beach used rocks to spell HELP before being spotted & rescued. He shortened his message after realizing he didn’t have enough rocks to spell DUDE..HELP.

PGA Tour golfer Scottie Scheffler won Jack Nicklaus’ Memorial Tournament in Dublin, Ohio. He celebrated with a police escort to his victory party – dragging two of them as they clung to the side of his car.

A man lost 45 pounds in three months thanks to a new bariatric surgery that involves magnets. A magnet in his colon keeps him from getting up from his chair to get food.

A woman in Mexico died when she got too close to a passing vintage steam-engine train to take a selfie with it. A second woman died when a man in a top hat, cape & moustache tied her to the tracks in front of it.

The Who’s Roger Daltrey said he’s “f**king sick of it” when speaking about what’s ruining live concerts. He claims it’s people checking the setlist at sites like setlist.fm before the show … and not 80-year-olds charging premium prices for tickets.

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A raccoon got stuck in a snack vending machine at Pine Ridge High School in Volusia County, Florida. Workers were able to free the raccoon, who then returned to its class teaching home economics to Florida teens.

A woman in Quebec survived a 5,000 foot freefall when her parachute failed to open. She suffered multiple non-life-threatening injuries, and vowed to keep trying to catch the Road Runner.

New Jersey’s Right-to-Die Law, providing life-ending medication for the terminally ill, was placed on hold. Everyone else dying to get out of New Jersey can go right ahead.

The mayor of El Paso, Texas claimed President Trump called him “RINO” – Republican in Name Only – when he corrected Trump during a visit to the city following a mass shooting. Unfortunately, PINO – President in Name Only – isn’t very catchy.

Asteroid 1990 MU – over 3 miles wide – could strike Earth in 2027. It’s as large as the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Nevertheless, The Who will continue to tour in 2027.

Nora Kenney, daughter of Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney, was arrested for a late-night brawl outside a bar in Wildwood at the Jersey Shore. She was last seen jogging through the streets of South Philadelphia, trailed by children singing ‘Gonna Fly Now’.

Jeffrey Epstein and a young woman – possibly a lawyer – were reportedly left alone for hours in an attorney/client meeting room at a Manhattan prison. Epstein’s other attorneys are calling the meeting “one for the road”.

Google introduced reminders that can be left for family members and other contacts, such as “Tell George to take out the trash”; “Tell Mary to get groceries”; or “Tell George I don’t love him anymore”.

Scientists believe they’ve discovered a heretofore unknown sensory organ inside of the human skin. Dubbed the nociceptive glio-neural complex, it’s the nerve bundle that makes your skin crawl whenever you see Donald hold Melania’s hand.

Chipotle announced they’re giving an extra week’s pay to more than 2,600 employees at 135 restaurants as part of it’s “crew bonus” program. The bonuses are accompanied by a card reading “sorry about the E. coli”.

 

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A federal judge dismissed Stormy Daniels’ defamation suit against President Trump, saying that Trump calling Daniels’ claims of threats & harassment “a total con job” was just ‘rhetorical hyperbole’. The judge added that he can’t really remember Trump using language that wasn’t ‘rhetorical hyperbole’.

Former American Idol Season 6 contestant Antonella Barba was arrested & charged with dealing heroin.  Her next performance will be a blues number.

Los Angeles Dodgers announcing legend Vin Scully declined an invite from Fox Sports’ Joe Buck to join him in the broadcast booth during the Dodgers/Brewers playoff game. Scully said that he wouldn’t want to get in the broadcasters’ spotlight in any way, especially if it meant listening to Joe Buck.

A Tennessee father attacked his son with a chainsaw, then lost his leg when the son ran over him with a riding lawn mower in self-defense. The father was charged with second-degree attempted murder, and neighbors were left wondering who was going to clean up the huge mess in the yard.

Lady Gaga confirmed her engagement to talent agent Christian Carino, or, as he’ll soon be known, Lord Gaga.

A New England Patriots fan who dumped beer on Kansas City wide receiver Tyreek Hill has been identified and had his case turned over to local law enforcement. He has also been banned from all Gillette Stadium events – but was spotted at a local Halloween store buying a disguise for a Kenny Chesney concert.

Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren made public results of a DNA test that she says proves her claim of Native American heritage. The DNA was swabbed from a deck of cards at an Indian casino where she worked as a blackjack dealer.

Will Smith appeared on wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook show, ‘Red Table Talk’ to discuss a low point in their marriage. Will Smith said that his wife ” woke up and cried for 45 days straight.” Jada said that she was drinking too much, and had also just watched ‘After Earth’.

Singer Roger Daltrey said in a new memoir he discovered he had fathered three ‘secret’ daughters in the time between his first and second marriages. “Who are you? Who? Who?” he asked them.

An article by Gizmodo claims that the ‘Do Not Track’ privacy feature in web browsers doesn’t work because websites refuse to abide by it. This was noticed by a guy receiving a gift basket on his fifth anniversary buying Pornhub Premium.