Three scientists won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry for ‘snapping molecules together like Legos’. Then one of the scientists broke their foot stepping on the Nobel Prize.
Angelina Jolie alleges that Brad Pitt abused her and two of their children on a flight in 2016 – striking her head, choking one of the kids, and making all of them watch Oceans 12.
Paradiso, in Barcelona, Spain, was named the World’s Best Bar by website theworlds50best.com – a site managed by someone who apparently thinks they’re too fancy for $1 margaritas at Applebees.
The world’s biggest pilot of the four-day work week by a public relations company in London is almost complete. They think that productivity is generally good, but see a tenfold increase in people calling in sick on Thursday instead of Friday.
New York Yankees slugger Aaron Judge broke the American League record with his 62nd home run. Overall home run king Barry Bonds hopes Judge doesn’t get a swelled head.
A New York investment adviser caught Judge’s home run ball, which is expected to bring him upwards of $2 million. It was the day’s third-most-valuable catch, following whatever two lawyers caught jobs representing Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.
Olga Valeeva, winner of the Miss Crimea beauty pageant, was fined by Russian authorities for singing a patriotic Ukrainian battle anthem. She was ordered to pay 40,000 rubles, and return to her new job driving a tank.
Three teens in Florida stole a Maserati and led police on a 120-mph high-speed chase before flipping the car, killing one of the thieves. The news gets worse because the Maserati was insured with The General.
A new animated Scooby-Doo movie will confirm Velma is gay – but still not as gay as Fred’s neckerchief.
Senate candidate Dr. Mehmet Oz is accused of killing puppies for medical research. Some of them suffered punctured hearts, the rest died from overeating Green Coffee Bean Extract Dog Chow.