Monday Jokes: August 17th

Madonna turned 62 – but may wait the extra five years before collecting Social Security.

Greenland’s ice shelf has melted to the point where it now looks like Iceland.

A woman slapped an American Airlines gate agent after refusing to wear a face mask. She’s been banned for life from American Airlines, and welcomed with open arms on Spirit Airlines.

Donald Trump’s younger brother, Robert, passed away at a hospital in New York City. Donald visited him on Saturday to collect his absentee ballot before he went golfing.

Walmart is converting its parking lots into free drive-in movie theaters, at least until someone shoplifts the movies.

Scientists are concerned that air conditioning systems may be spreading coronavirus. Not cool.

A Catholic priest in Malawi reportedly impregnated 30 nuns. Everyone involved said it was “all-in-all, a pretty memorable Easter weekend”.

Japanese scientists discovered a new breed of worm. They plan to show it to the general public in weird Japanese porno movies.

A Tokyo architect created public restrooms with transparent walls. They’re free to use, and 1,000 yen to watch.

A home listed for sale at $350,000 in Fayette, Missouri has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a 9-cell jail in the basement. The seller is ‘a guy who’s been banned for life from Tinder’.

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