Wednesday Jokes: September 9th

E! Network is ending ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. NBA TV might pick it up, but then dump it once they get bored.

An Austrian man set a new record for spending over 2 1/2 hours in an ice bath – then spending 6 hours trying to coax his penis back outside of his body.

A shopping mall in King Of Prussia, Pennsylvania opened a COVID-19 boutique. Masks are required for everyone entering the store to shoplift masks.

#BoycottMulan is trending on Twitter, and with people who don’t have $30.

A drug administered to mice in outer space not only halted muscle and bone loss from zero gravity, it actually grew muscle mass. However, the mice stopped doing experiments and spent all their time oiling each other up and posing in the mirror.

Google launched operating system Android 11. Sadly, for the previous Android, being a 10 still wasn’t good enough.

Drugmaker Astra Zeneca halted human trials of its COVID-19 vaccine after one of the participants experienced an “unexpected illness” – which is what they call “death” during human vaccine trials.

NASA researchers discovered rust on the Moon. Apparently the Lunar Rover that’s been there since 1971 hasn’t been washed too often.

Dr. Dre’s wife Nicole wants him deposed for their divorce proceeding. “Why would she want me gettin’ deep hos?” asked Dre.

Tiger King’s Joe Exotic wrote a lengthy letter to Donald Trump asking to be pardoned because he claimed he’s been sexually assaulted in prison. Guards said that may be true, but only because Joe Exotic paid the guy a carton of cigarettes.

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