Thursday Jokes: April 29th

‘Entourage’ creator Doug Ellin accused HBO of “hiding” the show amidst a “wave of PC culture”. HBO execs dispute his claim, saying they’re hiding the show amidst “embarrassment”.

Louisiana GOP state representative Ray Garofalo said Louisiana schools need to teach “the good side of slavery.” The session was paused so confused Louisiana legislators could be told what “school” is.

Republican Orange County, California Supervisor Don Wagner asked the state’s health director if vaccines have tracking devices in them, drawing laughter. Wagner insisted he was just trying to debunk wild claims about tracking, and about a mutating virus that kills people.

Federal agents executed search warrants on Rudy Giuliani’s home & office. It’s unclear what items were taken, but agents spent the rest of the day washing black hair dye off their hands and clothing.

Joe Biden gave his first address to a joint session of Congress, opening his speech “with the first overall pick, the Jacksonville Jaguars select..”.

India continues to break records for COVID-19 deaths, causing mass cremations of the deceased. The U.S. government has committed to provide much needed aid, sending vaccines, oxygen tanks, ventilators, and firewood.

Dr. Dre was ordered to pay $500,000 to estranged wife Nicole Young as part of their ongoing divorce. The payment may take a while, because, in accordance with hip-hop law, Dre must fly the bills out of his left palm with his right thumb.

After 17 years, newly-emerging BroodX cicadas were spotted in Quakertown, Pennsylvania…asking directions on how to get to New York or Philadelphia.

Fitbit is offering discounts on all their fitness trackers for Mothers Day. So go ahead, buy your wife or Mom a Fitbit and see how that goes.

VP Kamala Harris and Speaker Nancy Pelosi “elbow bumped” on the dais prior to Joe Biden’s address to Congress. They settled on the elbow bump after Harris tried, and failed, to get Pelosi to learn the 10-step secret handshake she created for the occasion.

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