Internet sleuths speculate fugitive Brian Laundrie is hiding beneath the backyard garden at his parents house, adding he may be dead, but he’s there pushing up daisies and tomatoes.
Huntington Beach, California is set to reopen after a massive oil spill closed the beach and damaged wildlife. Local lawyers purchased billboards saying they’re ready to sue for slip-and-fall injuries on the shore.
North Korea’s Kim Jong Un called on officials to improve the living conditions and food availability for citizens, saying North Koreans aren’t even living long enough for him to execute them.
Dr. Anthony Fauci says it’s okay for Americans to trick-or-treat on Halloween, but to exercise caution. Not because of COVID-19, but because it’s a Sunday, and Dads giving out candy are probably drunk after watching football and could fall on children.
Plus-size women slammed ‘Dancing With The Stars’ pro Lindsey Arnold for saying her new athletic wear line is for “all women” -since sizes only go up to Large. Arnold responded to ask XL & larger women what their workouts are, and they never answered.
The creators of mascot Phillie Phanatic settled their lawsuit with the Philadelphia Phillies, who redesigned the Phanatic in 2020 after being declared non-binary, with a chosen pronoun of “it”.
Raising Cane’s fast-food chicken locations are so short of workers, 250 of their 500 corporate office employees are staffing the restaurants. The other 250 are chasing and killing chickens.
Former Trump campaign adviser Corey Lewandowski is reportedly banned from all Trump properties and events after sexually harrassing a woman at a September fundraiser. Lewandowski was reportedly drunk, and Trump demands employees remain sober while sexually harrassing women.
Drugmaker Merck asked the FDA for emergency approval for its COVID-19 pill, saying it would help those who prefer pills to vaccines, and that it could be secretly slipped in to the drinks of anti-vaxxers.
Kim Kardashian West reportedly asked comedian friends Ellen Degeneres, Dave Chappelle, James Corden & others for help with her Saturday Night Live debut. Joe Piscopo is still waiting for his phone call.