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Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson says a giant asteroid could hit Earth in 2182. He also advises waiting a couple of days before running to the grocery store to buy bread, milk & eggs.

Howard Stern says he’s no longer friends with comic/host Bill Maher – so that’s officially everybody who can’t stand Bill Maher.

Amazon Prime Video will now charge an extra $2.99/month for ad-free viewing of movies and tv shows. Or, you can save the three bucks and learn everything there is to know about diabetes drugs you don’t need.

Outgoing Philadelphia City Police Commissioner Danielle Outlaw posted a farewell message to the city before taking a new job with New York’s Port Authority. Keeping with Philly tradition, the f-word appears 15 times.

Philly cheesesteak shop Pat’s King of Steaks faces its second wrongful death lawsuit over a lethal brawl that occurred there in 2021. This, on top of the dozen-or-so wrongful stomach illness lawsuits they rack up in any given month.

According to the Federal Reserve Bank, declines for loan applications reached 22% in June, the highest in years. Lending is so tight, banks are sending out letters telling customers they’ve already been rejected for a new credit card.

A 67-year-old unemployed New York doorman has been standing outside of Tiffany’s since June wearing a sign looking for work, saying he’s been living off of Twinkies. He hasn’t gotten a job, but school kids will trade him some of their lunches for the Twinkies.

6 male students at Santo Amoro University in Brazil were suspended after dropping their pants and doing a “masturbation celebration’ on-court after watching the women’s volleyball team win their match. The university announced total attendance for the game at 6.

Olympic skier Lindsay Vonn shared Instagram photos showing that she was stung by a jellyfish just below her buttocks while surfing, adding that the damage was just below where ex-boyfriend Tiger Woods had injured her a few years ago.

Morgan Osman, a model who said she’s ‘Instagram famous’ while being kicked off an American Airlines flight, received an offer to do a one-hour porn camshow. She has yet to respond to the offer to do so aboard Spirit Airlines.

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Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour will be released as a concert movie this fall – giving 14-year-old girls a way to get started in business by scalping movie tickets.

A Connecticut man who found a bag containing $5,000 was arrested for larceny after he kept the money, which belonged to a local bank. The man admits he should have returned the money, but wondered what the bank was doing with all the heroin in the bag.

Artificial intelligence will be used to listen to online gamers playing Call Of Duty, and will ban them when & if they use toxic language toward other gamers. Then, AI will attempt to recruit them to the U.S. Army.

Walgreens fired their CEO, as store visits and impulse purchases dropped due to fewer people coming in for COVID vaccines. They plan to turn things around by recruiting a new CEO who’s currently running a lab in Wuhan, China.

Over 70,000 attendees began their exodus from Burning Man festival, where they’d been trapped due to thick mud. At least 15,000 people trying to leave were trapped again after following Google Maps advice for a quicker route.

Kylie Jenner and actor Timothee Chalamet went public with their romance. They were seen together at a Beyonce concert as the ‘Wonka’ star kissed Kylie and fondled her oompa-loompas.

A Delta flight from Atlanta to Barcelona was forced to make an emergency landing because of a passenger’s diarrhea “throughout the airplane”, creating what the pilot called a “biohazard” and passengers called “a poor-fitting diaper”.

An Alexis retractor – a medical device the size of a dinner plate – was found inside of a woman 18 months after she had a baby via c-section. Oddly enough, she gave birth to the retractor naturally.

Philadelphia Police Commissioner Danielle Outlaw resigned to take a leadership position with the Port Authority of New York & New Jersey. She’ll be tasked with getting Port Authority shootings & carjackings up to Philadelphia levels.

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Congress passed The TRACED Act, bipartisan legislation to expand consumer protection against annoying robocalls. So say goodbye to all those great deals on health insurance and extended car warranties.

Stacy London, fashion influencer and co-host of cable show ‘What Not To Wear’, introduced her new girlfriend on Instagram. No word on who doesn’t wear the pants in their relationship.

The City of Philadelphia named Danielle Outlaw, former police chief of Portland, OR, to be their new police commissioner. She’s the first African-American woman to hold the post, and the first Outlaw to lead the Philadelphia Police Department since last week.

Philadelphia recorded 355 homicides in 2019, surpassing New York City’s murder total. Combined with the Eagles’ 2019 wins over the Jets & Giants, Philly fully cemented bragging rights.

Comedian Kathy Griffin, a former staple of New Year’s Eve tv celebrations, instead got married to her longtime boyfriend shortly after midnight. Instead of watching the Waterford crystal ball drop in Times Square, she disrobed and watched her fiancee’s balls drop in California.

Pope Francis apologized following the viral video that showed him slapping at a woman who grabbed his arm in St. Peter’s Square. His Holiness said he lost patience with her, and that he’ll find a more constructive way to keep his pimp hand strong.

The Food & Drug Administration plans to ban e-cigarette & vaping flavor cartridges except for traditional tobacco and menthol. The FDA decision was announced at a press conference launching new Fruity Mango Marlboros.

Google Health demonstrated artificial intelligence they claim is better than human evaluation at detecting breast cancer, and also 100% less likely to say “wow!” when looking at women’s breasts.

Drivers in Washington state were trapped in their cars when high winds blew tumbleweeds on to local highways. Once the tumbleweeds were removed, the drivers were able to get out of their cars for pistol duels at ten paces.

Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige told an audience in New York that a transgender character will be introduced to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. No more details were shared, but in a related story, Hulk announced his pronouns as ‘them’ and ‘they’.