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Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady were rumored to be “super flirty” at a July 4th party. Since Gronk will always be his tight end, Kim will have to be fullback.

A new study finds harmful chemicals are present in tap water in roughly 50% of U.S. cities – and in roughly 100% of Dasani, as a flavoring agent.

A bodyguard for NBA rookie Victor Wembanyama reportedly slapped Britney Spears in the face in Las Vegas when she tapped him on the shoulder for a photo. Britney declined the photo afterward because they got her good side.

Doctors in Singapore removed an octopus stuck in a man’s throat. The man sent the octopus in to grab the frog stuck there.

‘Matlock‘ is being rebooted with Kathy Bates, after network research among assisted living residents determined the one thing lacking from the Andy Griffith original was sex appeal.

Performers are concerned about fans throwing items on stage during concerts, after Bebe Rexha, Kelsey Ballerini, Pink & Drake all had incidents. Other artists like Toby Keith aren’t worried, and hope someone throws a decent song at him.

Vanderpump Rules Ariana Madix – who gained notoriety after her boyfriend had sex with her best friend – is the first confirmed contestant on Dancing With The Stars. Although execs are wondering whether, with this level of casting, they need to rebrand as Dancing With People You Might Have Heard Of.

An 81-year-old female nudist gave a CNN reporter advice for first-timers going to a nude beach, saying to behave “like you’re at a church picnic”. Only don’t stare at the pie and hot dogs.

Las Vegas debuted the MSG Sphere – an 18,000-seat arena billed as the World’s Largest Spherical Structure. Despite being round, owners say that once visitors are inside, they’ll be able to find a corner to piss in.

A teacher’s assistant in Canada was fired after school administrators discovered her OnlyFans account. In spite of her job status, three dozen sophomore boys paid to watch after-school detention.

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Police in the Philadelphia suburbs found a handgun in a substitute teacher’s car. He said he needs it to keep students from talking during the health class movie.

Quincy College’s commencement speaker, tech CEO Rob Hale, told 400 graduates that each would receive $1,000 – $500 to keep, and $500 to donate. The Quincy College post-commencement rager received $200,000 in donations toward drugs and alcohol.

A man donating fecal bacteria to his wife was informed he had “perfect poop” and could make $15,000/year selling it. Then he celebrated the good news with dinner at Taco Bell and lost $15,000/year in potential income.

Drake’s 3-year-old son burst into tears when they went on stage at the Billboard Music Awards to accept Artist Of The Decade honors – since even the toddler thought it should be Taylor Swift or Beyonce.

Justin Bieber debuted a new buzz cut, losing his controversial white-guy dreadlocks. No word on whether he donated the hair, although he was rumored to get an offer for it from the frontman of a Counting Crows tribute band.

Kevin Spacey will portray a police detective in a new film from Italian director Franco Nero, Apacey’s first role since sexual assault allegations emerged in 2017. Spacey is excited to play a police detective instead of playing a private dick.

80 Florida high school students had their yearbook photos modified without their knowledge to cover up exposed shoulders and cleavage. The students are outraged, saying they need the original photos to get interviews at Hooters.

Samoa was thrown into a constitutional crisis after a woman, Fiame Naomi Mata’afa, was elected Prime Minister, but the incumbent had her locked out of Parliament, saying he needed Samoa time to investigate the election.

25 U.S. states have fully-vaccinated 50% of residents against COVID-19. The rest are either opposed to the vaccine, or waiting for COVID vaccine lottery jackpots to get bigger.

Damiano David, frontman for glam-rockers Maneskin, agreed to take a drug test after his band won the Eurovision 2021 international song competition. Eurovision judges said the last thing they need is to have rock bands associated with illegal drug use.

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Pepperidge Farm is voluntarily recalling more than 3 million packages of goldfish crackers over possible tainting from salmonella. No illnesses in children have been reported, but a lot of moms and nannies are pretty sick.

Gun control advocates are concerned that recent State Department decisions will allow anyone to make a working plastic firearm using a 3D printer.  Their concerns are echoed by employees at Staples, who are being bombarded with questions by customers wondering which toner they need to buy to make bullets.

President Trump tweeted that he’s concerned about potential Russian interference in upcoming U.S. elections, adding that since he’s so “tough on Russia”, the Russians “won’t want Trump”. 30 million U.S. voters now have something in common with Russia.

Officials in California are searching for former MTV “Be an MTV VJ!” contest winner Jesse Camp, who has been reported missing by his family. They were hoping he’d show up right after this World Premiere Video from White Lion, but it didn’t happen.

Ivanka Trump is shutting down her namesake fashion brand. Impacted textile workers will be offered retraining, or as they call it in Indonesia, elementary school.

A North Carolina woman is warning that a “callus cutter” used in conjunction with her pedicure caused an infection that almost forced the removal of her leg.  A spokesperson for the salon said that either way, the callus is gone.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl in Memphis is blaming her daughter’s emergency gallbladder removal on her four-bag-a-day Hot Cheetos habit. Medical experts dispute the mother’s claim, but surgeons said it was the dustiest, orange-est gall bladder they’ve ever seen.

Police are warning against a “super dangerous” dance challenge. Popular entertainer Shiggy posted a video dancing in the middle of the street to Drake’s ‘In My Feelings’; other Instagrammers have tried to top him by doing the same, or dancing while stepping out of moving cars. Police ask you to call 911 if you see someone dancing dangerously, and they’ll respond and shoot them.

Thousands of people signed a petition to have the Netflix series “Insatiable” canceled. The show chronicles an overweight bullied girl who slims down and then takes revenge on her tormentors. Netflix has not replied directly to the fat-shaming accusations, but says it has always encouraged binging.

WWE star Nikki Bella has called off her wedding to fellow wrestler and actor John Cena. The couple and their fans are heartbroken, but are hopeful they can pull it back together in time for Nuptialmania.