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Doctors and women are sharing stories of ‘Ozempic babies’ – born to women whose extreme weight loss restored their fertility. They’re thrilled to be pregnant but bummed out about the weight gain.

‘Mammoth’ – the world’s largest vacuum designed to remove pollution from the air, opened in Iceland. It sucks 36,000 tons of carbon emissions from the atmosphere each year, and takes 500 housekeepers to change the vacuum bag.

The CDC is warning of the new COVID variant, ‘FLiRT’. It infects you after convincing you to sign up for its OnlyFans.

Americans tip an average of $38/month. They say they’d rather tip less but don’t want to learn how to multiply by percentages.

American fans of Taylor Swift are traveling to Paris to see the first European shows of her Eras Tour, citing much lower prices they found on TicketMonsieur.

A cruise ship employee was arrested after going on a stabbing spree, thus cutting short the maiden voyage of the new Spirit Airlines Of The Sea cruise line.

Kardashians matriarch Kris Jenner announced she has a tumor in a preview of Season 5 of Hulu’s ‘The Kardashians’. The tumor then hired an agent and negotiated Season 1 of ‘Keeping Up With Kris Jenner’s Tumor’ on Peacock.

In a decades-long study, meats were shown to have the biggest negative impact on mortality of all ultraprocessed foods – citing heart attacks in grade school kids who doubled up on Lunchables.

Neuralink announced their first in-human brain transplant has experienced a problem. The company said the problem persisted after unplugging the implant, waiting 30 seconds, then plugging it back in again.

A woman in China removed an unconscious pig from her car and attempted to revive it with CPR on a busy highway. The pig died, but was later praised for having an especially tenderized pork belly.

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Country singer Kacey Musgraves collaborated on a $56 candle with company Boy Smells…since Gwyneth Paltrow already had the candle market for Girl Smells cornered.

Singapore reportedly paid Taylor Swift millions to be the only nation in Southeast Asia hosting her Eras Tour. Nonetheless, North Koreans called watching Kim Jong Un in a blonde wig lip-syncing to three hours of her songs ‘the greatest concert ever’.

Kanye West was told he couldn’t perform shows in Europe, Australia & Asia because of his ‘controversial image’. There’s that, and those countries’ shortage of blacks.

Good news: a new study finds taking daily fiber supplements improves brain function in adults 60 & older in a matter of weeks. Bad news: the seniors now do all their best thinking while on the toilet.

Donald Trump supporters are allegedly creating AI deepfake pictures of him with black people to convince them to vote for him. They say it’s working, but others don’t believe that’s really him playing in the NBA All-Star Game.

A man died of Vitamin D toxicity, according to an autopsy showing he had lethal levels of milk & sunshine.

Spirit Airlines & JetBlue cancelled their merger plans .. and about 100 flights each just to show they were back to business as usual.

A 42-year-old resident of Wales broke a world record with 69 different tattoos of rabbits on his body. He started in 2009 with two, and they’ve rapidly multiplied in the years since.

Three American Bald Eagle eggs are set to hatch in Southern California, with livestream cameras set up to capture the unique event. Although bird watchers are furious that they have to subscribe to the mother bird’s OnlyFans to see it.

The NFL is considering moving touchbacks to the 35 yard line of the receiving team, in order to encourage more kick returns to keep the ambulance drivers and concussion specialists busy.

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McDonald’s is making process changes to ensure its burgers are more juicy. Fewer burger patties will be cooked at once, and kitchen workers will each get water bottles to make sure they have plenty of spit.

Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman on the Supreme Court, has died. Donald Trump swiftly nominated a conservative woman to take her spot in the nursing home.

Theresa Nist, the now-fiancee of Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner, was seen returning items to a HomeGoods store in her home state of New Jersey. “I don’t think you bought this here” said the clerk as Nist slid an unopened vibrator across the counter.

A blind golden mole that burrows through sand and was declared extinct over 87 years ago has been rediscovered in South Africa. Wildlife experts are amazed the blind mole was able to find sex on the beach.

A missing Botticelli painting valued at $109 million was found at a home in southern Italy. It was recovered when the owner tried selling it to buy plastic covers for her new furniture.

Tesla delivered its first Cybertruck off the assembly line, four years after it was announced. It has a starting price of $60,990, or $61,500 if you want electric Cybertrucknutz.

Democrats in Congress are pushing for a federal holiday honoring Rosa Parks on the anniversary of her arrest – while Republicans are pushing it to the back of the agenda.

A California father was arrested for allegedly helping his 16-year-old daughter sell her nude photos online. He’s being held on $4 million bail, and until further notice, their Etsy store is closed.

A 46-year-old male hospital security guard accused of sexually violating a 79-year-old female corpse claims he had a medical episode and fell on the body…and that the family requested she be buried in black lingerie.

Jung Yoo-jung, a 23-year-old Korean woman, was sentenced to life in prison for murdering and dismembering a female tutor she met online because she was obsessed with ‘true crime’ and murder. Before sentencing Jung was notified that she aced her English test.