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Lin-Manuel Miranda apologized for failing to cast dark-skinned Afro-Latino actors in his hit movie ‘In The Heights’, but added “come on, Aaron Burr was pretty black in Hamilton..”

Philadelphia is innovating to solve its two problems of illegal ATVs & dirt bikes, and uncollected trash, by building garbage ramps for illegal ATVs & dirt bikes to jump over.

Sotheby’s will auction the 9,555 lines of source code that formed the basis for the World Wide Web. It will also sell the performance review of the person who wrote it, where their boss gave them an overall grade of ‘Needs Improvement’.

AMC Networks is premiering ‘Kevin Can F**k Himself’, a send-up of the ‘awkward husband’ sitcom format, named after production assistants favorite phrase on the set of defunct Kevin James show ‘Kevin Can Wait’.

Rihanna’s Fenty fashion line debuted new leggings with an open-weave crisscross pattern that exposes the wearer’s butt crack. Rihanna explained that she likes to wear leggings, but needed a place to hold her phone.

The Chief of the Bank of England warns that rising adoption of cryptocurrency attracts criminal activity. Then he announced that the Bank of England will accept overdraft penalty fees in Bitcoin.

A proposed documentary on the career of Jim Varney is seeking crowdfunding, ‘Ernest Goes To Kickstarter’.

Actor/comedian Rob Riggle is accusing his estranged wife Tiffany of installing a spy camera in his office to hear conversations with his girlfriend. Tiffany is believed to be the only person in America who wants to see & hear more from Rob Riggle.

Some Americans were infected with COVID-19 as early as December, 2019. They’re believed to be the Hello Fresh customers who ordered the Cheesy Pangolin Casserole.

Producers of the Harley Quinn animated series on HBO Max were forced to delete a scene depicting Batman performing oral sex on Catwoman – as well as an additional scene where she returns the favor and coughs up a hairball.

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Following a disappointing box office debut for ‘Birds of Prey’, Warner Bros. and DC Comics asked theaters to change the name to ‘Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey’. Apparently a different studio tried this a couple months ago with ‘Taylor Swift: Cats’, but she sued for $100 million to stop it.

UK reality tv star Cecilia Jastrzembska was arrested in Maldives for wearing a bikini near a mosque. She was held for an hour an a half until cops were able to correctly spell her last name.

Southwest Airlines, as part of standard preflight announcements, is now asking passengers to report ‘unwelcome behavior’. So far no passengers have reported unwelcome touching, but dozens have reported flight attendants for lousy jokes.

Google’s head of human resources is stepping down amidst employee tension over the right to protest, and after a series of terrible cakes purchased for employee birthday parties in the break room.

A New York deli is offering customers five seconds to grab free food if they can solve simple math problems. Some deli patrons are offering the deli owners their life if they can solve how to hand over all the cash in the register.

A franchisee that owns 73 Sonic Drive-In locations declared bankruptcy. They say they face huge debt, reduced cash flow, and a mountain of lawsuits to clean up car interiors where customers threw up chili cheesedogs.

Disney World Hollywood Studios’ ‘Star Wars: A Galaxy Far, Far Away’ – a stage show featuring characters acting out scenes – will shut down this month. In its place, Darth Vader, Chewbacca, Rey & Kylo Ren will star in ’12 Angry Men, Wookies & Droids’.

Lloyd Black, a 91-year-old who exercises in denim overalls, is ‘Member of the Month’ at Anytime Fitness in Semmes, Alabama. He says he wears baggy overalls because they’re comfortable, and they hide his excitement seeing women working out in yoga overalls.

Prosecutors in the college admissions scandal released the fake rowing resume that Lori Loughlin’s daughter used to gain admission to USC. They say suspicions were raised when she referred to oars as water-paddle-thingies.

Virginia lawmakers officially made it legal for unmarried couples to have sex. Although rarely enforced, couples previously faced fines up to $250 for intercourse. In a related move, Virginia Beach prostitutes announced a $150 price drop.

 

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Steamboat Springs, Colorado shot off the world’s largest firework – weighing 2,800 pounds – at its winter carnival.  Roughly a thousand dogs and cats have not been seen since.

Bong Joon-ho won Best Director and his film ‘Parasite’ won Best Picture at the Oscars. It was a big night for ‘ho’s as Blac Chyna also was invited to the Oscars for some reason.

Oscars coverage started at 6:30p.m. Eastern time, and concluded around 11p.m. – about enough time to get halfway through ‘The Irishman’.

Bill Gates is reportedly considering the purchase of a 112-foot superyacht, powered by liquid hydrogen, at a price of $644 million. It has a helipad, gym, swimming pools, and a galley full of slaves to paddle it since nobody knows where to buy liquid hydrogen.

The XFL debuted over the weekend, with attendance of over 17,000 at each of the four games. Players are so confident, they’re already asking for next weekend off from their regular jobs.

Chinese health officials report 1,000 deaths from the Wuhan coronavirus, and say that 40,000 people sickened may be the “tip of the iceberg”. They said that because one of the cruise ships quarantined for coronavirus struck an iceberg.

The new craze in skin care is ‘dermaplaning’, where vellus, or ‘peach fuzz’ hair and a top layer of dead skin cells are removed. Experts warn the procedure should only be done by a licensed dermatologist with a surgical scalpel, or a buddy looking to try out his new belt sander.

A stripper in Texas fell off of a 15-foot pole on to the stage below, then began twerking –or, as the EMTs who arrived later called it, convulsing.

Chipotle is offering a ‘Guac Mode’ promotion, free guacamole to new & existing Chipotle Rewards members in February. This is different than their longstanding ‘Emergency Mode’ program, which is what they call Rewards program members contracting E.coli.

Warner Bros/DC Comics film ‘Birds of Prey’ – highlighting DC villainess Harley Quinn – opened with $33 million at the weekend box office, far short of the $45-55 million projected. Analysts blamed competition from the Oscars, the movie’s R rating, and not enough naked Birds.