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Police rescued an elderly woman who’d been held captive by an intruder; her daughter thought she was in trouble because she hadn’t shared her Wordle results for the day. Other home invaders are now asking victims to finish & share their puzzles..

A FedEx truck was carjacked in Philadelphia. Cops are hoping to find the suspect based on his tracking number.

Developers plan to create the largest restaurant in Philadelphia on the city’s riverfront. Liberty Point will take up 28,000 square feet, serve 1,400 diners, and getting your food will take around two days.

Watchers of the Beijing Winter Olympics are comparing the location of the alpine ski jump – next to an unused steel mill – to a ‘graveyard’. The gold medalist successfully jumped over 100 meters, as measured by the bodies of dead Chinese democracy protesters lining the landing area.

Snoop Dogg was sued for alleged sexual assault. He’ll still perform in the Super Bowl halftime show because the NFL said if sex criminals can play in the games, they might as well rap at halftime too.

The NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers traded disgruntled guard Ben Simmons to the Brooklyn Nets for their star guard James Harden. 76ers fans can’t wait for Harden to arrive, then blame him for another playoff failure in a couple of months.

Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers won his 4th NFL MVP Award but is getting the silent treatment from Joe Rogan, who he failed to thank in his acceptance speech.

Harvard and Emory University scientists created biohybrid fish in a lab using human cardiac cells. The fish swims by muscle contractions like a human heartbeat, but sadly it died of a heart attack, because they used cardiac cells from a fat guy in Mississippi.

New NASA photos reveal the dark side of Venus – you have to be over 18 to see them.

Researchers discovered the first evidence of respiratory illness in a 150 million-year-old dinosaur – the world’s largest rescue inhaler.

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Old Navy announced plans to nearly double the number of their stores to over 2,000. They’ll even expand into Syria, where they’ll be known as Old Taliban.

Country singer Kacey Musgraves said doing psychedelic drugs like LSD “brought me closer to the planet and humanity” – specifically, she passed out on the grass and was revived by an EMT.

Tim Tebow was summoned to testify in the trial of an athletic trainer accused of injecting clients with illegal performance-enhancing drugs without their knowledge. Tebow refused comment according to his attorney, Jesus.

The manager of a Taco Bell in Louisville kicked out a group comprised of a woman and 20 homeless people she took there for dinner.  Taco Bell said the store manager will be retrained, and reminded that 75% of Taco Bell revenue comes from the homeless.

A transatlantic flight from Frankfurt to Cancun had to make an unscheduled landing in Ireland because the pilot spilled coffee on the instrument panel. The cockpit was repaired and the pilot appreciated the extra time to sober up.

Harvard University said it’s reviewing $9 million in donations between 1998 and 2007 from the late Jeffrey Epstein. Harvard said they refused donations following his 2008 conviction, but do welcome and encourage financial gifts from other alumni pedophiles.

A new study suggests an elevator to the moon could be built for about $1 billion using existing technology – but would require a LOT of illegal immigrants to work construction.

  • Some critics question whether travelers would really use an elevator to the moon, considering how long they’d have to hold in farts.

Northwestern University psychologist Alexandra Solomon published a list of seven phrases couples can use to deepen their connection, including “tell me more” and “how do you want to feel?”. Just missing the list at #8 was “skip the condom”.

Kim Kardashian said before being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, pain and numbness in her hands were so severe, she couldn’t lift her children to hand them off to nannies for days at a time.

Google Photos now lets U.S. customers order same-day prints, for old-fashioned types who like to send their dick pics in the mail.