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Israeli troops raided Gaza’s largest hospital, which, they claim, is being used as a headquarters by Hamas terrorists. Patients are also hoping they can do something about the food.

A mother who named her infant son Semen before moving to the U.S. asked for new name suggestions on Reddit. She received thousands of replies with alternate names, and a handful of replies from gay guys and women saying they really liked Semen.

Patients born with abnormally high cholesterol have shown improvements through the use of gene editing. They just need to be okay with skinny genes.

A Boeing 747 jet flying from New York’s JFK airport to Belgium had to turn around after a horse got loose in the cargo hold. The horse was also angry about being refused an upgrade.

PGA golf tour officials are finalizing negotiations for a merger with the Saudi-backed LIV Golf Tour. Talks have been contentious, but so far no PGA executives have lost their head.

A New York landlord stabbed three tenants to death over their failure to pay rent. He was visited in jail by his attorney, and 50 applicants for the apartment.

Will Smith denies allegations he had sex with a man, yelling he kept that thing outta his mouth.

K-pop all-girl group BabyMonster announced that Hyeon has left the group to focus on her health and well-being, leaving Asa, Chiquita, Haram, Rora, Pharita and Ruka as the remaining members. “Wait, which of us left again?” they asked each other.

OnlyFans model Danii Banks was kicked out of Allegiant Stadium for flashing her bare breasts during the Las Vegas Raiders/New York Jets matchup. Security guards also considered a harsher punishment – forcing her to watch the rest of the game.

Jason & Travis Kelce teamed up to record a Christmas song, Fairytale of Philadelphia, for the Phildelphia Eagles charity album. After talking to a friend about how much he was getting paid, one of them rerecorded Fairytale of Philadelphia (Travis’ Version).

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Sarah Palin is entered in today’s special election in Alaska. Palin admits that she doesn’t understand the state’s new ranked-choice voting system, but hopes for enough support to make it to the Hollywood rounds of American Idol.

The Flash star Ezra Miller apologized for his recent behavior, including an arrest for felony burglary and assault allegations. Miller claims to be dealing with complex mental health issues and entered treatment, which he expects to complete in a fraction of a second.

An 88-year-old South Carolina woman living in a gated senior living community died after falling in to a pond. Unfortunately for her, the pond was a senior living community for alligators.

Christopher Lowe, director of the Shark Lab at Cal State Long Beach said “swimmers are bitten, but rarely consumed [by sharks] – proving humans are not on their menu”. That, or sharks just prefer a lower-fat diet.

The U.S. Government cancelled $3.6 billion in student loan debt accrued by former students of the now-defunct ITT Technical Institute. Average credit scores soared 20 points for Burger King employees.

A metal object from an aircraft fell from the sky and landed near the Maine State Capitol. It was identified based on writing scribbled on a piece of duct tape reading ‘Property Of Spirit Airlines’.

The World Health Organization is holding an open forum to rename monkeypox because of concerns the current name is derogatory or have racist connotations. Newly suggested names are Washington Virus Team and Cleveland Guardians.

A dog contracted monkeypox in the first known human-to-pet transmission. The dog reportedly slept in a bed with two infected men; the dog insists it slept-slept, not the other thing.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences apologized to Native American Sacheen Littlefeather for abuse she endured when appearing to refuse Marlon Brando’s 1973 Oscar for The Godfather on his behalf. Then they screwed up again when the apology included a peace pipe.

Tiger Woods is flying to Wilmington Delaware, site of the PGA Tour’s BMW Championship, to strategize how the PGA should handle player defections to the Saudi-backed LIV Tour. The visit was confirmed by a memo distributed to Wilmington-area hostesses at Perkins and TGI Fridays restaurants.

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The Arizona Cardinals removed a clause from QB Kyler Murray’s new contract requiring four hours of film study each week after Murray called it disrespectful. Murray puts in over four hours each week thanks to a Pornhub Premium subscription.

Spanish prosecutors say they’ll seek an 8-year prison sentence for global superstar Shakira, who they say failed to pay over $24 million euros in taxes. If they succeed, incarcerated lesbians plan a cellmate lottery to determine who she’ll bunk with.

While hosting a Saudi-funded LIV Golf event at his New Jersey club, Donald Trump said “nobody’s gotten to the bottom” of 9/11. He expects it’ll also take at least 22 years to get the bottom of 1/6.

Washington DC Mayor Muriel Bowser is asking for help processing over 5,000 migrants bused to the nation’s capital by Gov Greg Abbott after entering the U.S. in Texas. She said she wouldn’t be concerned if not for the free AR-15s Abbott gave them as a parting gift.

Record flooding in Kentucky led to the deaths of 15 people, mainly those who’d told friends & relatives they were excited about all the new swimmin’ holes.

Will Smith posted a YouTube video apologizing to Chris Rock for the Oscars slap. Smith added “I’m human and I made a mistake and I’m trying not to think of myself as a piece of s–t”, referring to Collateral Beauty.

Charles Barkley turned down a big-money broadcasting and appearance offer from the LIV Golf tour. Barkley said he arrived at his decision after considering his current network and sponsorship deals, and after reminding himself he sucks at golf.

Monkeys are terrorizing residents of Yamaguchi in southwestern Japan, with some entering homes and snatching babies from nurseries. Parents are happy to get the babies back, but are also glad for a few free hours of monkey day care.

A Reddit user and Cast Member at Disneyland said his pay at the theme park was so low, he turned to sex work in order to make ends meet. He said that pay wasn’t great either, but it was better if he kept the Minnie Mouse costume on.

A video screen toppled at a Hong Kong concert by Cantonese pop group Mirror, injuring two dancers. The show was halted, but the group vowed to continue their Seven Years Bad Luck Tour.