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A new study by the National Center for Health Statistics determined that living in the wrong neighborhood can take 20 or more years off of your life. The study compared the life expectancy of suburbanites who work in offices, to that of city dwellers who get paid in cash and walk home from work at 3a.m.

Justin Bieber secretly wed model Hailey Baldwin in a New York City courthouse last week.  The couple still plans to have a formal ceremony so they can exchange vows before family, before God, and before they divorce in a few months.

Mia Bally, a participant in Lifetime Television’s ‘Married at First Sight’, filed for divorce from Tristan Thompson, her husband of two episodes.

Hannah Siboyeh, a 23-year-old school employee in Houston, Texas, admitted that she lost her virginity to a 15-year-old student at the school, in what his classmates are calling “the greatest health class, ever.”

Randall Gene Owens, football coach and physical education teacher at Palatka, Florida High School, was banned from teaching and coaching after being accused of telling a player to “commit suicide”, head-butting another, and blowing his nose on yet another. Parents were reportedly outraged that their kids didn’t get more playing time.

A study from the Aspen Institute recommended that children should avoid playing tackle football before age 14, saying that organizations like Pop Warner should focus on flag football, instead. The report stated that if parents still wanted their kids to get concussions, there’s always gymnastics and soccer.

A Wyoming hunting guide was fatally mauled and his client severely injured after being attacked by a pair of grizzly bears. The client said the deceased was “pretty good at the guide part, and not so good at the hunting part.”

Several women took to Twitter to criticize Apple’s latest iPhone designs, saying that, at 6.5 inches, the iPhone Xs Max is far too big for the average woman’s hand. “Why didn’t you say that about me?” asked their boyfriends.

Buffalo Bills Vontae Davis stunned teammates by retiring and leaving the locker room at halftime of the Bills’ 31-20 home loss to the Los Angeles Chargers. Davis started the game at cornerback, and finished it on an aisle seat.

A study in medical journal Pediatrics is cited in an effort to ban infant walkers in the U.S. Research claims that between 1990 and 2014, more than 230,000 children under the age of 15 months were injured using walkers, and that still more were injured trying to run on infant treadmills.

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A Yellowstone supervolcano may blow sooner than expected, producing enough ash and debris to wipe out the planet. The findings were shared by researchers from Arizona State, who received a D when they were reviewed by researchers from better schools.

The National Center for Health Statistics reports that obesity among U.S. adults has reached an all-time high. Facebook responded by launching its new Order Food feature nationwide.

Amazon will add 120,000 jobs for the holidays, including placing thousands of greeters at Walmart and Target stores reminding shoppers they don’t have to be there.

Rose McGowan’s suspension from Twitter over her criticism of alleged sexual harassers Harvey Weinstein and others has sent the #womenboycottTwitter hashtag trending — meaning that it isn’t exactly working.

The United States is pulling out of UNESCO — the United Nations Cultural Organization — over what the White House calls their anti-Israel bias. President Trump said that he remembered trick-or-treating for UNESCO when he was a kid, and keeping the money.

Vladimir Putin received a new puppy for his birthday. The puppy denies involvement in the mysterious deaths over the last week of its feline critics at his former shelter.

The head of a government bureau responsible for background checks said the volume of errors on Jared Kushner’s security clearance applications are “a new low”. Kushner’s application contained over 100 errors and omissions. Kushner told investigators he didn’t know it was a take-home project.

Miley Cyrus admitted that she was high while filming the video for ‘Wrecking Ball’. Producers confirmed this, saying they delayed shooting while they outfitted the wrecking ball with a seatbelt.

Dating app Bumble, where women make the first move, has launched Bumble Bizz, a feature of the app that lets women make networking connections. Bumble created the feature in response to complaints that men are hitting on women via LinkedIn – men will congratulate women on their new position, and ask if there are other positions they’d like to try.

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg told the Congressional Black Caucus that the company plans to add a black executive to the board of directors. She wouldn’t comment on the candidate, saying only that his initials were J.Z.

Mashable reports that major league sports teams from the NBA, NHL & MLB have all stopped staying at Trump Hotels while on the road. Frustrated Trump Hotel bar groupies have changed strategy and now set their sights on getting pregnant with really rich racists.