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Apple says they’re going ‘all in’ on 5G technology in 2022, with factories hiring thousands of fifth graders.

Jeff Bezos gifted $100 million ‘Courage & Civility’ Awards to chef Jose Andres and CNN anchor Van Jones, so they can continue charitable work. Finalists are not yet announced for the Donald Trump ‘Cowardice & Hostility’ awards, but multiple January 6th rioters are in the running.

Joe Pytka, director of the original ‘Space Jam‘ movie, said ‘Space Jam: A New Legacy” is so boring he couldn’t finish it in one sitting. It’s one of the most scathing criticisms an 82-year-old has ever leveled against a children’s cartoon.

Provincetown, Massachusetts, a popular gay-friendly Cape Cod tourist destination, is experiencing a surge in COVID cases, causing officials to require guests & residents to wear masks with mouth holes.

The Milwaukee Bucks won the NBA title, but gunfire outside their home arena in the postgame celebration sent three people to the hospital with Buckshot wounds .

A COVID-positive Indonesian man was arrested for disguising himself as his wife so he could board a domestic flight on a local airline. He was discovered by the drunken groper in the adjacent seat.

“Floating breakfast” is a growing trend in the hospitality industry; it describes breakfast served in pools or hot tubs at luxury resorts, or, at Ramada Inns, the continental breakfast dumped into the toilet.

Kanye West threw a listening party for his new album in Las Vegas, which morphed into traffic jam at the parking lot exit halfway through the listening party.

Cecil County Maryland broke ground on what will be the biggest Great Wolf Lodge, a 700-room hotel and largest indoor water park – also home to the world’s largest concentration of water-borne bacteria.

A Philadelphia bakery apologized after making a cake honoring a police officer’s service anniversary with a Philadelphia Police Department logo reading ‘Coffee Donuts Corruption’ instead of ‘Honor Integrity Service’. The cop still ate the cake along with coffee & donuts.

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New York City officially banned defecating on buses and the city subway. Philadelphia is considering a similar ban, but City Council doesn’t want commuters to change who they are.

Cake Boss Buddy Velastro’s hand was impaled on a steel rod as he tried to fix the pin resetter at his home’s bowling alley. Doctors worked feverishly to pick up the split between his 7th and 10th fingers.

A brain wrapped in tin foil washed up on a Wisconsin beach. It was unwrapped so the federal government could see what it was thinking.

The San Diego Chargers team doctor accidentally punctured QB Tyrod Taylor’s lung while giving him a painkilling injection for bruised ribs. The Chargers are now looking for a new doctor and shorter needles.

Tom Cruise and director Doug Liman will ride a SpaceX rocket into outer space to film a new movie. Though some are questioning why they need the International Space Station to film ‘Cocktail 2’.

Pro tennis players are angry that they must stay at one of two approved hotels in order to play in the French Open. They’re even more angry learning one of them is the Ramada Inn.

California is banning gas-engine car sales after 2035. Dealerships announced killer deals blowing out the last of the 2034 Kias.

A pregnant wife came to the aid of her husband after he was attacked by a shark in the Florida Keys. The man is okay, and the wife refused the shark’s request to touch her belly.

Money Magazine released its 50 Best Places to Live. “Wait, I don’t see us” said residents of Louisville, Portland, Seattle and the hills outside Los Angeles.

A Vietnamese factory was cited for washing 320,000 used condoms and reselling them as new. However, government leaders praised citizens for embracing safe sex and recycling.