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With the intent to fill open positions, New York State Police raised the maximum age for new officer candidates from 29 to 34, while dropping the required minimum number of functioning limbs from 4 to 3.

Shane van Gisbergen won NASCAR’s first-ever Chicago street race, after multiple delays from weather, and from police chases after other racer’s vehicles were carjacked.

July’s Full Buck Moon, the first of four supermoons this summer, rises tonight. LGBTQ+ activists are boycotting the Moon for failing to deliver a supermoon during Pride Month.

The Fury 325 roller coaster at Carowinds amusement park in North Carolina was shut down after a social media user posted a photo of a crack in one of the ride’s support beams. Meanwhile, all coasters at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey continued to operate while multiple riders smoked crack.

Philadelphia Police arrested an armed carjacker just one hour after he stole a Ford Edge. He was apprehended immediately following the successful completion of his on-road Driver’s License Exam.

Texas pastor David Lloyd Walther pleaded guilty to downloading over 100,000 images of child pornography, and promised to refund parents who’d enrolled their kids in his ‘Movie Star! ‘-themed Vacation Bible School.

Over 1,000 Dolly Parton impersonators attempted to break the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of fans in full “head-to-toe Dolly Parton costumes”. While they waited for the record to be certified, 600 participants were treated for severe back pain and spasms.

Vietnam is banning the new Barbie movie over a map depicting Asian territory as belonging to China. Producers are considering editing the scene out of the movie because they don’t want anyone thinking the film is educational.

Tyson Foods will remove the ‘No Antibiotics Ever’ label on its chicken, after admitting they need to use some to keep chickens disease-free. They also have to remove ‘No Drugs Ever’ after catching some chickens using ecstasy.

Florida will allow use of radioactive waste in paving new roads. It’s expected to make projects faster and cheaper because overnight crews will glow in the dark.

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Teen pop star Olivia Rodrigo surprised fans by joining Billy Joel on stage at Madison Square Garden to sing Joel’s classic ‘Uptown Girl’. Joel, a big drinker, offered his take on Rodrigo’s big hit ‘Revoked Drivers License‘.

Nick Cannon is expecting his tenth child. The host of Wild ‘n Out has been wild ‘n in.

A new study finds the risk of dementia in dogs increases after age 10. Many have trouble remembering their owner’s name.

Five people were taken to an area hospital with back pain after riding the El Toro coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. They were placed on the bus with 30 people going to the same hospital with stomach pain from the El Toro Snack Bar.

Cremated remains of deceased Star Trek actor Nichelle ‘Lieutenant Uhura’ Nichols will be dispersed in space. Only some of them will be launched, as opposed to a black whole.

George Foreman is accused of sexually assaulting two women in the 1970s. Attorneys for the accusers look forward to seeing George Foreman grilled.

A man on his honeymoon in Florida was arrested for soliciting a prostitute. He’s registered at Pottery Barn and as a sex offender.

A woman drew a gun during an argument with other back-to-school shoppers at the King Of Prussia Mall outside Philadelphia. Then, she returned the gun to the Customer Service counter where she’d borrowed it.

Melisa Raouf, a 20-year-old finalist in the Miss England pageant, is the first in history to compete without wearing makeup. She’s considered a longshot to win Miss England, but is a heavy favorite in the upcoming Miss Adult Acne pageant.

Professional competitive eater Joey Chestnut broke the world popcorn eating record by eating 32 24-ounce bags of popcorn in 8 minutes. Chestnut then spent the next 8 hours flossing his teeth.

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A Philadelphia man was taken into custody after locking himself in the bathroom at a Planned Parenthood office. “For the last time, you’re not pregnant” said workers.

A nest of 1,500 murder hornets was destroyed in Washington state. The hornets actually excavated a dead tree’s trunk before nesting in it, and may qualify to join a log cutters union.

A woman assaulted by a man on a Tennessee dog walking trail thwarted her assailant by smearing his face with dog poop. The assailant was later captured by police, and identified after the dog sniffed his face.

The U.S. conducted an air strike in Kabul, reportedly killing ISIS-K suicide bombers. “Nooooo… I WANNA DO IT” said the bombers during a tantrum.

A woman was injured at New Jersey’s Six Flags Great Adventure when she slipped and fell off of a roof. Officials have temprorarily shut down the Spider Man’s Shingle Repair ride.

An endangered fin whale that died after being found on a Delaware Beach was discovered to have underlying health conditions. The veterinarian performing the necropsy said the whale suffered from a lack of obesity.

Afghanistan faces a financial crisis because its banks remain closed and citizens have no access to cash. It’s so bad, the country’s largest dealership hasn’t sold a single goat in two weeks.

A gunman who shot at a commuter outside New York Penn Station was sent to jail after calling the judge at his arraignment “bro”. The judge struck his gavel and yelled “you will address me as DUDE!”.

Cecily Barmore, stepdaughter of Dog the Bounty Hunter, was arrested for domestic violence after allegedly punching and biting her boyfriend. The District Attorney has not yet filed charges, after Barmore agreed to heel.

Kid Rock cancelled two shows in Fort Worth, Texas after members of his band tested positive for COVID-19. Rock said via Twitter that he and all his band members have been vaccinated with cow dewormer Ivermectin.