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Southwest Airlines grounded two Boeing jets after finding cracks in a key part – the pilots’ skulls.

Rapper-turned-jailhouse snitch Tekashi 6ix9ine is reportedly planning his post-prison comeback, scheduled to start in the year 20wenty 6ix9ine.

Former NBC employee Brooke Nevils claims she was sexually assaulted by Matt Lauer, while Lauer claims their sexual encounters were consensual. “I can help settle this” said experienced news journalist Maury Povich, dusting off his lie detector.

A company called Future Meat Technologies claims they could have the first lab-grown meat cultivated from animal cells on store shelves by 2022. They could have the first lab-grown veal a week after they start making it.

  • Future Meat Technologies: the other-other white meat.

The NFL upheld its season-long suspension of Oakland Raiders LB Vontaze Burfict for a malicious helmet-to-helmet hit. Burfict has been offered a season-long development scholarship by the UFC.

California utility PG&E is utilizing blackouts to limit the spread of wildfires – and to increase the number of easier-to-control candle-sparked house fires.

A pediatrician said children should start packing their own school lunches starting at age 8. His opinion was published along with a recipe for Sour Patch Kids sandwiches.

Sesame Street is introducing a new Muppet character whose parent struggles with opioid addiction. Producers say the parent won’t be introduced, and will be known only as Shootemupagus.

A family returned from a vacation to find a window broken and a goat napping in the bathroom. The goat was returned to a farm up the road, but the Mom is wondering why the goat had the address and Dad’s phone number programmed into its phone.

A Monmouth University study of 1,100 U.S. adults states that 6% consider candy corn their favorite Halloween candy. Researchers footnoted that at least 6% of the U.S. population suffers from some form of serious mental illness.

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An off-duty Cincinnati police officer working security at a Kroger grocery tasered an 11-year-old girl suspected of shoplifting. The girl was charged with theft, treated and released at a local hospital, and is said to be bummed out that the Sour Patch Kids she stole melted from the electricity.

McDonald’s will select one random user of its app between August 10 and August 24 to be a McGold Card holder, winning free McDonald’s food for the rest of their life, or about two years.

New York City voted to freeze the number of Lyft and Uber vehicles operating within city limits. City council members said NYC will treat Uber & Lyft vehicles like taxis – meaning their air conditioning will be broken, credit card payments won’t work, and non-white passengers are pretty much on their own.

A Frontier Airlines employee spent the night in an Atlanta hotel with two children, ages 9 & 7, who were traveling as unaccompanied minors on a flight from Des Moines to Orlando that was diverted to Atlanta because of weather. The kids’ parents were mortified, and angry that Frontier charged them for the kids’ meals, and fees since the children qualified as checked baggage.

Beach volleyball players in Alabama inadvertently destroyed hundreds of baby Tern bird eggs when they moved them to clear space for their game, according to the Birmingham Audubon Society. Since then, fences have been erected to protect other nests, but angry bird protesters still are popping volleyballs with their beaks.

Google launched ‘Cameos’, a video Q&A app aimed at celebrities, to permit them to answer fans’ biggest, most frequently asked questions using video. So far, John Travolta has filmed 500 Cameos saying he isn’t gay.

Facebook has launched Mentorships, a free service that will pair people who need help or guidance with those providing it. They immediately shut down the accounts of hundreds of ‘mentors’ offering to help women pick out the clothes they’ll wear that day.

Amazon is introducing Alexa Auto, an extension of its digital assistant in to cars, where Alexa will badger drivers to slow down, ask for directions and stop for rest room breaks.

McDonald’s opened a new 19,000 square foot, glass-enclosed restaurant in Chicago that looks like an Apple Store. It features table service, ordering kiosks, a McGenius Bar where a high-school dropout tells you how to work the Coke Freestyle machine, and high-tech restroom urinals for vandals to poop in.

Lauren Cutshaw, a 32-year-old South Carolina woman pulled over for DUI, tried to talk her way out of it by saying she’s a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl”. She was still arrested after she blew a .18 blood alcohol content, but after being freed on bail she accepted a job as Trump 2020 Campaign Chairperson for South Carolina.