Thursday Jokes: November 14th

Nike will no longer sell to Amazon. However, as part of its partnership with the WNBA, Nike will continue to provide footwear to Amazons.

The Centers for Disease Control say that anitbiotic-resistant “superbugs” killed 35,000 people last year. Among the worst are fungus Candida auris, and Herbie.

Pink announced she’s taking a break from music in 2020. Cardi B. announced she’s also taking a break from music, but will continue to produce and sell whatever you call her stuff.

Narwhal, a puppy with an extra tail growing out of his forehead, was surrendered to an animal rescue in Missouri. The puppy is otherwise perfectly normal, but gets frustrated by other puppies coming up and sniffing his mouth.

Motorola introduced its new folding 2019 Razr smartphone – it’s expected to be a hit with executive douchebags who perfected the 2005 angry snap-close cell phone hangup.

Google confirmed two rumors that it’s collecting Americans’ health data, and also issuing checking accounts. They say there’s no better time to collect overdraft fees for medical treatments people can’t afford.

Walmart released its Black Friday ad two weeks in advance, and somehow a dozen people were trampled to death going to Walmart’s website.

Caviar, a Russian luxury gadgets company, is selling a set of Apple AirPods Pro headphones covered in 18-karat gold for $67,000.  They make the perfect gift for the stylish rat who will wear them after they fall into the sewer.

Social network Peanut raised $5 million in venture funding. It’s a network for moms and women trying to conceive – not to be confused with Tinder, for women trying not to conceive.

A Michigan man taking wildlife photos captured a picture of a rare three-antlered deer. He found the deer drinking out of a public fountain in Flint.

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